


Last Kiss

by MCMXC



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, US Women's Soccer National Team
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-28 23:09:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 35,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5108990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MCMXC/pseuds/MCMXC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one was surprise when Ashlyn asked Ali on a date. However, everyone was surprised when Ali was the one who asked Ashlyn to be her girlfriend. The love that radiated from the couple was intoxicating. Which is why, six months later, no one saw it coming.</p>
<p>No one can explain the physical pain you feel the moment your heartbreaks.<br/>No one can explain how to mend a shattered soul.<br/>No one can explain why she left.</p>
<p>AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How Could You?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone this is my first fanfic. Well first post. I suck at the subject of English, but ironic enough I love you write.  
> Anyway, this is more AU. In this universe you can join a national team with out being born in that country or gaining citizenship. (I know, I know, just bare with me) as long as they are interested and you are not in contract with your original country. It rarely happens, but when it does, oh boy. 
> 
> Story based of 'Last Kiss' by Taylor Swift.  
> That being said, prepare yourself.  
> Thought are in ( )  
> Lyrics are Bold  
> I hope you enjoy it!

-January 3rd 2015-

 

** I still remember **   
** The looks on your face **   
** Lit through the darkness at 1:58 **   
** The words that you whispered **   
** were just for us to know **   
** you told me you loved me **   


When Ali slowly slips out of her peaceful sleep, she feels a thickness in the air. This is surely not how the morning after should feel. Before she even opens her eyes she knows the keeper isn't laying next to her. Her heart stops beating for a second until her mind calms her (she just went to the bathroom or is getting coffee down stairs. Everyone knows how much she loves her coffee first thing in the morning.)   
  
When she opens her eyes, to take in her surrounds, she notices the clothes that were thrown about haphazardly the night before are gone. (Relax Alex she probably just went downstairs) she reasons with herself. Looking over at the clock she grunts, "what the hell" 5:18am. she scrunches her face in confusion while her mind wonders (why would she be out this early? Breakfast isn't till 8.) 

She flops back down on the bed, body still exhausted from the intimate events that unfolded last night. Her fingers mindlessly retracing every inch that had been so passionately touched just hours ago. Her body still felt like pure bliss. Remembering the intricate details of how the woman caressed her and began to unravel herself to Ali. Remembering how those four words had sounded like a sweet whispered lullaby coming from the lips of Ashlyn Michelle Harris. As they laid there wrapped in each other. "I love you Alex..." Ali had been seconds from sleep but she was able to whisper back "I love you too Ash.." She felt a small sweet kiss on her lips, before sleep consumed her. It was the first time they said I love you and it was perfection.   
  
Now, as she laid in the half empty bed, she felt her eyes get heavy again. She closed her eyes hoping that she would wake to those beautiful hazel ones in a few hours.   
  
** So why did you go ... away ** ****   
  
Ali's heart felt heavy when she woke again to no Ashlyn. She let out a heavy sigh, looks at the clock once more. 7:36 am. She grabs her phone from the nightstand and calls the keeper. Each ring taking a piece of her with it (why isn't she picking up) "Sorry I didn't catch you in time. Leave a message." Her voicemail. "Ugh" Ali furiously taps at the end button and tosses her phone on the bed. "Ok Ali relax, I'm sure there's a good explanation why she's not here. Ashlyn would never leave like this... Better be a damn good reason"  she says releasing a deep sigh and running her hand through her tasseled hair.    
  
Reluctantly the defender gets up to start getting ready. By 7:55 she's heading down the stairs to attend breakfast with the rest of her teammates.   
  
Once she opens the doors to the conference room, she looks around. She noticed that all her teammate were here (that's a first), all except Ashlyn that is.   
  
"Hey Kriegs," Tobin smiles, asking as she's approaching Ali. "Where's Ash?" Tobin's smile falters when she sees the dejected look on Ali's face.   
  
"No idea... I thought she was down here" Ali says with a sadness in her voice. The only time Tobin had heard that sadness from the defender was when she was visiting during camp after Ali tore her ACL in Canada.   
  
"Well she couldn't have gone far" Tobin says trying to lighten the mood. "come sit down, I'm sure she'll pop up in a few" Ali lets Tobin guide her to the table, after she gets some breakfast she knows she's not going to eat. The table consisted of the usual Kelley O'Hara, Alex Morgan, Megan Rapinoe, Sydney Leroux, and Whitney Engen. Tobin sits between KO and Alex, leaving the two chairs to the left of Whit and right of Kelley open.   
  
"Where's your keeper" Pinoe asks with a smirk plastered on her face.   
"Umm.." Ali mumbles, looking down, taking the seat next to Kelley.   
Every one looks at Ali expecting to see the brunette blushing.

Ever since her and Ashlyn become a couple, 6 months ago, they loved to tease Ali. When they see her head hanging low, the hurt evident in her body, they all look around sharing their concern.

"Hav ... Have you seen her Whit?" Ali's voice is small, fragile even, as she looks to Whit. Right away the rest of the teammates know something is terribly wrong. They all look expectantly at Whitney, praying that her next words can save their normally strong, confident right back from shattering.   
  
Whit feels all eyes on her, she hadn't heard from Ash since last night. She hasn't noticed anything wrong with her best friend that would cause her to go MIA. "Not since last night before curfew." She manages to say, wondering if she should try to reassure Ali that she knows Ash will be here any second. That is until Ali sinks farther into her chair. Look of defeat clearly written across her face.   
  
The sight alone is enough to make the most heartless person in the world cry. No one can handle it as the silence settles across the table.   
  
Jill voice breaks the silence from across the room, "Krieger, can I have a word please." The whole room goes silent. Jill would never calls some one out like that, she never has. Ali gets up and walks over to the door, head still hanging low. The entire team is looking on confused and worried. 

Jill walks out the door followed by Ali. Jill speaks, anger and hurt evident in her tone, "You know I'm really hurt Ashlyn didn't talk to me first, didn't you think I deserved to know? That the team deserved to here it from her?"

Ali looks Jill in the eyes, confusion clearly flashing though them. It hits Jill and she realizes that the defender has no idea, her face softens as she sighs. "You don't know either..." Jill places both hands on Ali's shoulders. She sees the emotions in Ali's face and eyes change in a matter of seconds. Confusion, worry, panic, desperation, hurt, and finally anger.   
  
Jill's hands feel like a ton of bricks to Ali. "What are you talking about" Ali voice is ragged, she holding back the hurricane threatening to break though the flood gates of her soul.   
  
"She took a red eye this morning... She sign with The German National Team as No. 1 goalkeeper ... I'm sorry Ali"   
  
Ali closes her eyes consumed by her emotions, she collapses into Jill's arms. Her guard is down and the hurricane escapes. She lets it all  go, lets it take its destructive path through her soul. All she knows is she falling. "but she said she loved me..."   
  
** Goooo  away... **   
  
The conference room is loud as everyone is trying to figure what is happening  just outside .   
  
"What the hell is going on?"   
"Where's Ash?"   
"No ones seen her since last night"   
"Is Ali ok?"   
"Did they get into a fight?"   
"Do think Ash is hurt or something?"   
  
A voice of reason speaks, "Ok settle down!" everyone looks at Abby, standing near the front of the room closest to the door. "I don't know what's going on anymore than you guys, but I know coach will be filling us in when she's done talking to Kriegs. So we all need to stop the speculation until we know the facts. Yes I know you are all worried... So am I, but what ever it is we are a team, a family, and we'll figure this out together. Alright"   


Everyone nods their heads in agreement when Jill opens the door "Solo, O'Riley."   
  
Hope is half way across the room when everyone's eyes fall on her then HAO who is now close behind. Hope and Abby share a worried look.   
  
As the veteran keeper steps out the door first, she looks to her left, where she finds her right back wrapped in herself laying on the ground.(oh my god)   
  
Heather drops down to Ali. "Ali, hun what's wrong" she tries to sooth her long time friend. (What the hell is going on)   
  
Hope looks to Jill. "Ashlyn signed with Germany, she took a red eye early this morning... No one knew about it." Both of their faces fall, they look at each other then down at Ali whose breathing is erratic as her whole body shakes. "Hope carry her to Heather's room. Heather stay with her the rest of the day... I don't want her alone. I'll tell the rest of the team." All the two girls can do is nod at their coach.   
  
Hope squats down and puts her arms under Ali and gently lifts her up, "shhhh... I got you Ali.." Hope whispers to her distraught friend. She follows Heather to the elevator when HAO turns to her, "I don't think she'll notice.." Hope just nods as the doors open and they step in. ( I swear, I'm going to beat the shit out of you Ashlyn Harris. How could you do this to her?)   
  
Ali can hear voice but she can't make sense of what they are saying, the last thing Ali remembers is feeling weightless as two strong arms pick her up and carry her somewhere unknown. (Wake up Ali it's just a dream. A bad dream. A nightmare.) Secretly hoping its Ashlyn carrying her out of this nightmare. She knows it's not. But a girl can Hope.   
  
Heather walks out of the elevator first luckily her room is three doors down. She opens it and let's Hope in. (Why would Ashlyn do this) Heather walks over to the bed and pulls the covers down. She watches as Hope delicately begins to lower Ali down.   
  
Slowly Hope releases her arms from under Ali until she feels the defender grasping on to her shirt for dear life and whispers, "please... don't leave me". Hope freezes and looks over at Heather silently, desperately asking her what she should do. Heather nods to her, signaling that Hope should stay. So the veteran keeper leaves one arm under her broken right back, and calmly lays on the bed, letting Ali form herself to her body. As Ali rests her head on Hopes chest she feels herself beginning to relax. 

The tears are still running down her face, like a steady river that's been flowing effortlessly for centuries, but her breathing has managed to come under control. It's gradually falling into sync with the keeper, Ali can feel her mind slipping, she can't allow herself to get to far gone, so she holds on.

Alexandra Krieger holds on to the only thing that’s keeping her from slipping into oblivion. Which happens to be the last thing she ever expected, and that is the voice of Hope Solo, "I'm not going anywhere Ali…  I'm right here ok... I got you..."

For the second time today Ali lets the exhaustion take over, letting Hopes voice anchor her as she lets go, "… I got you..." 

With the faintest whisper, that could be swept away by simply turning the page of a book, Ali manages to get out a few words "... she said she loved me..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think? I do plan incorporating the rest of the song in later chapters. I might also add between chapters with other teammates opinions and relationships.


	2. This Is A Joke Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jill tells the team. Signing with different NT explained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo I feel like this CH is crap. Please dont be afraid to tell me that.  
> It's basically a filler.  
> I'm going to try to post once a week, but school and work may get in the way.  
> Hope you like it.

[Same day as CH 1]

Jill needed a minute, could any one blame her, she just witnessed one of her strongest players reduced to an vacant shell of a body. Never has she seen Ali Krieger, the warrior princess, this broken. She had just been blindsided by Ashlyn signing with a different national team. (How am I going to tell the rest team. Damn it Ashlyn!) Jill's mind is running amok as she has to tell the rest of the girls that their teammate (well former teammate now) just left with out a word, with out a trace. (I need to get this out before they find out some other way) Taking a few even breathes to ground herself, Jill puts her hand on the doorknob (here goes nothing).

Tick … tick... tick …

The silence in the conference room is deafening. In the past week they had been here, no one even noticed there was a clock in the room until it became the only noise. The entire team is in their own minds, afraid that a single noise or movement could be the end of life as they know it. The main questions running through everyone's heads: What the hell is going on? Where is Ashlyn?

Whitney had been trying to get a hold of Ashlyn since Ali was called out by Jill. Her emotions went from being worried about her best friend (pick up, pick up, please be ok.) to being furious that she wasn't answering her phone or text. (Fuck Ashlyn just answer me)

ASH: hey call me ASAP Please!  
ASH: seriously Ash you need to call me.  
ASH: Ashlyn Michelle Harris  
ASH: answer your damn phone!!  
ASH: I need to make sure you're ok please Ash just answer me.  
Delivered

20 minutes, multiple texts, and 53 calls to Ashlyn's voicemail, Whitney gives up. She slams her phone on the table, making everyone jump at the sound. She looks up apologetically, "Sorry," she runs her fingers through her hair putting both elbows on the table. The noise had broken everyone out of their trance and they began to whisper among themselves.

"No luck with Ash?" Syd ask as she rubs Whit's back. Whit just shakes her head.

"Where could she be?" Kelley says.

Whit's head shoots straight up, once again making everyone jump. She grabs her phone and frantically searches through it, "you're a geniuses Kell". Her teammates are looking at her questioningly when she looks up from her phone. "Tobin remember junior year after the game in Nebraska when we went to that bar." Tobin thought about it, but nothing was ringing a bell, she looked backed at Whit confused. "I thought I lost my phone and Ashlyn got separated from the group... when we called my phone Ash answered but she was too drunk to know where she was.. soo I used the find my iPhone app from your phone and we found her."

Tobin nods, "ok but what does that have to do with this now?"

"After that I convinced her to get an iPhone and we exchanged apple ID's and passwords as a just in-case scenario... all I have to do is log into her account from my phone and I'll know where she's at." Whit explains, watching as some of the girls seem to relax a little bit knowing one question may be answered. "Ok …. its loading...”

The sound of the door opening grabs everyone's attention but Whitney's, “what the….” She says in complete disbelief. The girls at the table are now looking at Whit. Tobin speaks first, “what is it Whit?”

Whitney picks her head up, “How's that possible…” her team all scrunch their faces in confusion. Just as someone is about to speak they hear Jill's voice, “can I have everybody's attention please…”

Feeling all eyes on her, Jill suddenly feels speechless, she swallows the lump in her throat. Her lack of words at this moment is making everyone uncomfortable, Jill is never at a loss for words.

“This is going to be hard on everyone… And I'm not quite sure on how to tell you girls…” just then the door opens pulling everyone's attention again when Heather walks in.

Jill looks at HAO, “I thought I told you to stay with Ali?” “Hope stayed with her..” The room breaks out in hushed questions. HAO walks over the Jill, lowers her voice, to speak to her coach, "Ali grabbed onto Hope's shirt when she was putting her down and asked her to stay.” Jill nods and signals for HAO to take her seat.

The team was getting restless, they really wanted to know what was going on. Between the baffled look on Whit's face, Jill telling HAO to stay with Ali in the first place, to why the hell Ali was with Hope right now, and the main, where the fuck was Ashlyn?

All eyes were on Jill again, she let out a deep breathe, run her hand through her hair and looked at her team. The looks of confusion and worry plagued each one.

“I was just informed a few minutes ago that Ashlyn… She… She signed with the German National Team. Took a red eye this morning, that's why she's not here.” Gasp filled the room, there's no way Ashlyn would do this. “No one knew… Not even Ali.” the room erupted in questions.

“This is a joke right?"  
"There's no way our Ashlyn would do this… she wouldn't just leave”  
"That's not even possible... is it?"  
"Seriously where's Ash."  
"This isn't funny"

Whitney just sat there, a vacant expression on her face. She looked at the app again, Ash's battery life was at 50%, the Wifi was connected with the little Airplane symbol next to it. She refreshed the location and sure enough it moved farther into the Atlantic Ocean toward Germany. Her best friend was on a plane over the Atlantic.

"Whit?" someone called out to her she, she couldn’t concentrate on the voice. She was lost in thought, suddenly all the little things Ashlyn had said to her the past month made sense. How she knew no one would see her full potential, her best friend felt trap in the shadow of the worlds greatest goalkeeper.

"I want to matter Whit, I want to be on the pitch with a team, not sitting on the bench. I don’t want anything to happen to Hope, she's been though so much you know, but I want to matter" at the time Whit did her best to console the blonde, remind her that she did matter. but there's only so much you can say or do.

It hits Whit like a meteor, "with a team", Ashlyn never said our team she said a team. Why didn’t she catch that before?

"It's true" Whitney's voice is low as she exhales, looking down at her phone still. She's not sure why the screen looks so blurry at the moment, that is until she sees a drop of water hit it. Confused at first, she wipes it away when another one hits it, she slowly reach up to her cheek where she feels the wetness that has escaped her eyes with out her knowledge. She tosses her phone on the table, "It's true" she says louder, "I tracked her phone… she's somewhere over the Atlantic right now..."

As everyone begins to take in her words someone asks, "How is that even possible? to sign with a different National Team?"

"It was announced about six months ago... FIFA said since there isn't many professional Women athletes, that a National Team can choose to sign someone who isn't a citizen... fucking Sepp Blatter" Abby chimed in, recalling the news that surprisingly didn’t get that much attention.

"As long as the player is not in contract with their current NT, they can be contacted by a different country. Ashlyn's contract was up last month, we were going to renew it at the end of camp, but we hadn't had a chance to discuss it with her... FIFA made it so if the country and player were in agreement that signing a minimum of two year contract They would help to grant citizenship to the player. Most of the country, including us, were against it but I guess FIFA decided to do their own thing. We figured no one would actually consider doing it, so we ignored it. It's unknown if Ashlyn reached out to them or if they contacted her. I'm sorry ladies but this is real, Ashlyn’s gone..." Silence engulfed the room, "Since today is a day off you're all free to go.” With that Jill left the room unable to keep herself composed in front of her team. ( how could we be so careless and not get her contract taken care of. Then again how could we have see this coming)

No one else got up, were do they go from here, their teammate betrayed them and their country. Whitney and the rest of the UNC alumni were still in shock, some of them in tears. Tobin had gotten up and sat next to Whitney, who was the worst of them all, and just held on as tight as she could.

"I know none of us saw this coming, I sure as hell didn't, but we're going to get through this. I know you are all hurting, or feel angry right, cause I feel it too. What we need to understand is that Ashlyn made her decision and we have to respect that. we don’t have to like it, but we have to respect it... We've said before how we feel like a family. Well we are a family and we have to be strong right now, especially for Ali. I'm not saying cast your own feelings aside right now, I'm saying lets be the family I know we are and just be there for each other. Let's help each other and grow together. I'm here if any one wants to talk so please don't hold this in guys. let it out so we can start to heal, I know it's not going to happen over night, It's going to hurt for awhile but we have each other to fall back on... we have our family." the wise words of a veteran, a captain, with the soothing tone of a mother. Christie Rampone gave her heartfelt speech to her fellow teammates, to her friends, to her family.

No one knew what the new future without their funny, loving, blonde surfer, goalkeeper would be like, but they all new one thing. They had each other and together they could get through this, not matter what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thoughts? Anything you guys want to see?  
> Seriously don't be afraid to tell me if you hate it.  
> Not into my story? Check out Miss Brightside cause its amazing!


	3. The Sound of The Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone I am so sorry it's taken so long.  
> But yeah, any way, just a reminder that this is fiction  
> dates and events will (sometimes) differ from real life. 
> 
> Need more fluff with your Krashlyn?  
> Check of Ruck Me by Inked11
> 
> Lyrics in bold  
> Thoughts in ( )  
> Flash back is indented/ italics  
> 

-January 11th 2013-  

**I do recall now**      

The seat belt sign dinging above her, she let out a shaky breathe, as the pilot spoke. "Ladies and gentlemen we are beginning our decent into Dulles International …" She knew the routine, after all, she'd spent as much hours on a plane as she did on the pitch. Why she was nervous however was a mystery to her. I mean sure it's the start of a new league, but she's going to be home now, so nervous should not be an emotion to feel right now.    

As soon as the plane touches down the pilot informs the rest of the passengers that they are ahead of schedule, so they will have to wait at least 15 minutes before they can get a gate.      

At first Ali was sad that Ashlyn wouldn't be the one picking her up, she was in Florida until next week, but at the same time she was relieved. Of course she missed the blonde, they were best of friends from the moment they met, but Ali was still confused about their last encounter in Frankfurt. The thought of Ashlyn took her back to that night:      
  

> _[Flashback, September 2011]_   
> 
> _The lines between friendship and something more had been blurred a long time ago. The flirtatious banter between the two was constant, often times their hands finding each other, fingers laced mindlessly. In a_ _cliche_ _manner neither one wanted to make a move, for fear of making things awkward or losing the connection they had._     
>  
> 
> _Ashlyn had a difficult time reminding herself that Ali was, in a sense, untouchable. Especially when Ali walked out of her bedroom wearing a red dress that hugged her as tight as Ashlyn wanted to. Never had the keeper wanted to grab the defender so bad and trace her body after seeing the dress, that showed the perfect amount of cleavage might I add. (Holy Shit. Breath Harris. Focus. Fuck …)_     
> 
> _" are we going now?" Ali asked raising her eyebrows at a frozen Ashlyn._   
> 
> _"huh? oh... uh yeah, sorry you just look …. stunning" Ashlyn managed_ _,_ _trying her best not to stare too excessively._   
> 
> _"Hey... Eye's up here Stud." Ali stated_ _with a devilish grin knowing it would make Ash flustered._   
> 
> _Ashlyn's eye's quickly shot up and she swallowed hard at the look on Ali's face, knowing she had been caught. (Damn._ _) It only took a second of blushing for Ashlyn to recover and turn the tables. With a smirk_ _,_ _she approached Ali slowly, leaned_ _close to her ear,_ _her voice low and_ _seductive,"You're_ _such a tease Krieger."_ _she walked to the door holding it open for the brunette," are we going now?" Ashlyn teased._   
> 
> _Clearing her throat,"_ _yeah. let's, uh.. we should-_ _go now." Ali tried to recover as smooth as the blonde but failed miserably. (Damn It! Keep it together Alex.)_   
> 
> _Ali was not as drunk as Ashlyn assumed she was. The right back was, after all, a light weight considering she rarely drank. But this was a different kind of impairment, the physical contact from Ashlyn through out the night had become intoxicating to Ali. Ali would never admit that when ever they were dancing together, Ash was the only thing she needed to feel a high, and that was far better than any alcohol could do._   
> 
> _After late night turned to early morning in Frankfurt, the duo figured they should head back. They both stumbled in laughing and holding on to each other, worrying that the other was way to drunk to function. Once they both were stable, Ali found herself staring to those hazel eye's._
> 
> _Ash lowered her hand so they were resting on Ali's hips never breaking eye contact. She became entranced by the golden brown eye's. (Just do it) She leaned in ever so slowly and placed her forehead onto Ali's_ _,_ _not brave enough to go the whole way. Ash closed her eyes (Chicken) letting out a deep sigh._   
> 
> _The Feeling of hav_ _ing the blonde so close to her was overwhelming._ _Ali wanted nothing more then the kiss the lips of Ashlyn Harris (Just do it.) She brought her hands to Ashlyn's shoulders gripping onto the collar of her button up._ _The blondes breathing hitched._ _Ali tilted her head, eyes fixated on the keepers lips._   
> 
> _"Ali…”_ _Ashlyn whispers_ _, her eyes still closed, not_ _knowing the way the brunette was_ _looking at her._ _Hearing the way her_ _name came_ _out of Ashlyn's lips_ _Ali got the courage_ _to close the gap, but she heard Ashlyn say “ we should go to bed…”_   
> 
> _{End Flashback}_   

   

"Seems the rain decided to catch up with us-" The voice of the pilot made Ali snapped out of her memory letting out a sigh. Pulling out her phone Ali decided she should get a hold of Matheson to see if she was at the airport already. She heard the pilot say they were cleared for a terminal, just as she was about to make the call to her teammate, she received a message.       

Best Keeper Ever: {a picture of baggage claim 5B sign} Can you guess where I am Princess ?  : P    

**The smell of the rain**   

**Fresh off the pavement**

**I ran of the plane**   

Ali's face lit up like a firework shows during New Years Eve. Once she heard the plane door open and the fresh smell of rain flooded the cabin, she bolted out of her seat. Running out of the plane, she was glad that she didn’t have a carry on this time. Her best friend was waiting for her, her Keeper, that was supposed to be in Florida, was here.     

Once Ali reached the baggage claim area she searched frantically for the blonde. Her nervousness about seeing Ash disappeared. As seconds passed by she became more antsy, until a pair of arms scooped her up bridal style, twirling her around.    

Ali let out a squeal, knowing the instant the hands touched her that they belonged to Ashlyn. She couldn't help the Billion dollar smile that  spread across her face as she laughed, wrapping her arms around the keepers neck.     

“I missed you! four months is way too long not seeing you Princess” Ashlyn smiled. Remembering they were in the middle of an airport, she reluctantly put Ali down.     

“I missed you more Stud!” Ali kisses Ashlyn on the check. She giggles when she sees the keeper blush and look around. (I wish I could show you how much I missed you)     

Ashlyn, quick to recover, smiles “nope not possible” she challenges.   

When Ali is about to reply they hear the buzzer from the bag claim conveyor, looking over to see the bags coming around. They make their  way over and Ali spots her bag, getting ready to pick it up, but Ashlyn cuts in front of her quickly collecting the luggage. “come on you should know better by now” Ali just shakes her at her best friend. “I don't think I will ever get used to you being so chivalrous Ash”     

They walk towards the doors and Ashlyn realizes it's raining, she looks at Ali's thin jacket and stops. Ali looks at her questioningly. “It's pouring out there” she says pointing to the doors.  She lets go of the bag and slips off her leather jacket, while Ali looks out the door.     

Ali feels something on her head, looking up to see Ashlyn putting the jacket over her. “Ash you'll get drenched you can't  ..” before she finished her sentence the keeper is already half way out the door. “come on Krieger ” figuring it would be useless the argue, Ali follows secretly loving the feeling of her jacket on her.    

Ashlyn grabs Ali's hand as the two rush out the door towards Ashlyn's Jeep. (good thing I put the covers on yesterday)     

By the time they reach the jeep Ashlyn is of course soaked as Ali predicted. Laughing so hard they almost slip on the freshly wet pavement a few times. In true gentle lady fashion, Ashlyn opened Ali's door for her.    

Much to Ali's viewing pleasure, Ashlyn was wearing a white V-neck that was now snugly clinging to the keepers muscled body. (unf)  Biting the lower corner of her lip, the defender stole a few glances while Ashlyn helped her in  the passenger seat and again when she got in the drivers seat. Noting every defined muscle from her biceps to her chiseled abs. Getting a look at the clearly visible tattoos on her side. (Why do you have to be so fucking hot)  She could feel the wetness between her thighs as she tried to calm her libido. (seriously Alex stop. Take a deep breathe. Look away.)    

"Well we have about an hour till we get to the apartment, you can connect to Bluetooth and be DJ if you want" Ashlyn says sweetly, knowing the right back must have a new favorite she's dying to share.     

"I actually came across a few good songs." Ali chuckles, happy for a distract, the temptation to take Ashlyn in the back of her Jeep was way to strong right now. She starts playing with the stereo to connect her phone.       

"Alright Alex let's see what you got." Ashlyn teased. Ali smiles and looks over at Ashlyn, her jaw dropping. When she was messing with the radio Ashlyn had reached back to grab her UNC hoodie. The keeper took off her shirt and was now slipping her hoodie over her head. Ali's eyes filled with desire at the half naked blonde, sending goosebumps through out her body, causing her to shiver .     

"Gees Al if you're that cold you could have turned on the heat" Ashlyn said in a concerned tone as her head popped out of the hoodie, turning the car on as well as the heater. (Oh gosh. This is going to be harder then I thought) Ali quickly looked down at her phone, "Oh I'm fine." trying to distract herself once again.     

Smirking at Ali, Ashlyn put the Jeep into reverse and then made their way to the apartment. (was she checking me out?) "so what songs have you been obsessing over" the keeper asked, shaking her head at the thought of Ali checking her out.     

Ali playfully glares at her, "no judgement, got it" she states. Ashlyn lets out a little laugh and smiles, her one dimple showing, she crosses her finger over heart and lifts her right hand.     

With out thinking about it Ali choose the first song, letting the beat carry through the Jeep. It didn’t take long for Ashlyn too move her head to the beat, listening intently to the lyrics. Wondering if Ali had a meaning behind it, as she heard the defender singing along to the chorus.    

"But don’t you run away, run away when you get tired. cause this is will slip away slip away and start a fire. that can never be put out. oh hurry time is running out... before you tell her … you love her... "    

The rhythm of the song matched perfectly with the soft sound of the rain hitting the windshield. Ali knew that something about this moment would stay with her forever, it was mostly likely the fact that Ashlyn's hand had found hers while she stared contently out the passenger window.      

"I love the sound of rain..."    

"Me too Princess"    

\----------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------    

March 8th 2015  

The deafening rumble of thunder frightened Ali awake. She shot up from the bed gasping for air, confused on her whereabouts. She felt the bed dip, her breathing was labored.  Not focusing on who was beside her saying something she couldn't comprehend. She felt a strong yet gentle hand on her shoulder, at that moment everything came flooding back like the storm that raged on just outside the hotel. She collapse into the welcoming arms.    

"I got you... " the person said.     

She let out a few sobs willing herself not to do this again, her body was far to weak to handle an other fit of uncontrollable sobs. It's been 2 months since the love of her life left her alone in that hotel room.   

Now she found herself unable to sleep in one, which became a problem for the professional athlete .    

"Why... why did she just... just leave "     

For the fifth night in a row since they arrived in Portugal, Hope held onto Ali as tight as she could, secretly praying that she could take this pain away. Desperately wishing she could give Ali the answers to the questions she asked every night. All Hope could do though was be the shoulder to cry on, the person to talk to, be strong for Ali. And that is exactly what she did.     

An other rumble of thunder made Ali jump. The sound of the rain wasn't soft like it was 3 years ago, it didn’t calm her down. Instead it sounded violent as it hit the hotel window, becoming the physical representation of how she felt inside. How thing things were so painfully different now.     

"I hate the sound of rain..." Ali whispers.   

"The storm will pass ... " Hope reassures.    

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry for the wait. 
> 
> if the flashbacks is too confusing let me know  
> I'll go back and put yr/month if necessary 
> 
> I find it ironic that Ashlyn being my favorite player brought me to Ao3  
> and here I am making her the bad guy.  
> It's breaking my heart to be honest.
> 
> p.s. next ch has the team 'confronting' Ashlyn


	4. Family: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The US faces Germany in the World Cup Semi-finals match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> italics is the announcer speaking ( I referenced Fox sports broadcast of the actual game, just not word for word obviously)  
> This Ch is going to be more of the team/game. Didnt have time to edit but I will later.

 

 

June 30th 2015

_ " Ladies and gentleman welcome to the 2015 Women's World Cup Semifinals match. Today's game is the most anticipated game of the century, where the US Women's National Team will square off against Germany s Women's National Team.  _

_ On one side we have, the No.1 goalkeeper in the world, Hope Solo. Whose only allowed one goal this whole tournament, which was 4 games ago, playing the best soccer of her life right now.  _

_ The other side we have , Solo's former National Team back-up keeper, Ashlyn Harris. Who is also playing the best soccer we've seen from her, She has managed a clean sheet every game this tournament. I guess having Hope Solo as a mentor has paid off.  _

_ Harris has been under a magnifying glass with the media since her unexpected signing with the German NT just 5 months ago...   _

_ US soccer President Sunil Gulati released a statement yesterday to US Fans: 'We ask that the fans remain respectful toward the GWNT as they have any other team we have faced this tournament. We want all the fans to enjoy the game and continue to support the US in an appropriate manner.'  _

_ As you could imagine the stakes are high, emotions are higher, and the tension is the highest. This game just might be more interesting than the WC final... " _

~~~

Everyone is in their pregame rituals, the locker room might as well be empty with how quite it is. The team is supposed to line up in the tunnel in 15 mins, but Ali doesn't want to. Walking into that tunnel she will have to face her former teammate, the woman who choose to leave her, who cowardly ripped her heart out in the still of the night. It's 5 months now and the wound still feels fresh, the wound is still very much open. Ali doesn't want to face Ashlyn, seeing her in person, wearing the Germany Kit, will only validate the betrayal once and for all. (It's now or never Krieger, it's game time. World Cup Semifinals. No one is going to take this from you. Not even her. )

Everyone was stealing glances at the brunette, sending silent prayers to whoever is up there listening, that she can make it through this game. Seeing as how Ali could barely hold back tears as they watched the footage of the Germany team, they all knew that this game was going to be hard.

No one on the team had heard from Ashlyn, not even Whitney. This game was going to be the first time they saw her in  person. 

Whitney was wounded that her best fiend hadn't reached out to her. After multiple attempts of unanswered calls and text, she gave up. Never did she think she'd see the day when Ashlyn was not a part of her life. Regardless she didn't hate the keeper, even though she wanted too, she couldn't bring herself to do it. Ashlyn was still her best friend. She just hoped that the blonde knew she still cares about her, even though the team had a plan that might say other wise. 

"Bring it in Ladies!" Abby says getting everyone's attention. Ali closes her eye's, inhales deeply, (This is it) with the exhale she opens her eye's and is met with piercing blue one's that have continued to ground her the past 5 months. Those blue eyes that have only shown compassion and strength towards the defender, unlike others who show pity and sorrow. 

Right now those blue eyes are telling her 'I'm right here, I've got you.' Hope stands up and so does Ali. They both silently make their way to their teammates in the center of the locker room. Hope looks at Ali one more time and gives her a small nod. Ali nods in return, the small gesture unknowingly  gives her the strength she needs.

"You have all given your blood, sweat, tears, hearts, and souls to this game, to this team, to this family... I can continue to give the best speech I've ever thought of, but I won't... not today... all I ask of each of you, is too play the game we love, as the family we have come to be. We stay united, proud and strong. Family on three." 

Everyone brings their hands in, game faces on, ready for what lays just beyond the doors leading to the tunnel. "Ali" Abby looks over to the defender signaling for her to take over. 

Ali takes in a deep steady breath, "One. Two. Three!"

Carli is the first one out the door followed by Hope, the team agreed that leaving the locker room already in order was the best option. It projects unity and organization. 

Hope had suggested it, she wanted to make sure Ashlyn was no where near Ali while they were in the tunnel. Even though Hope knew Ali would have to shake the keepers hand in the beginning and end, she wanted to minimize the necessary interactions to protect her right back. 

The Germany team was already lined up in the tunnel. Some of the players talking to each other.

Hope couldn't help but to see the No. 1 green keepers jersey, with Harris printed across the shoulders. Ashlyn was standing tall, shoulders squared, hands at her side. Her head was level as she stared at the pitch in front of her. 

Once Hope was side by side with the blonde she turned her head to get a better look at the women she had once known. She notice the ever so slight clench in Ashlyn’s  jaw, she had to hold back the smug grin she felt coming on.

Hope’s glare was burning a hole on the side of her face, but Ashlyn kept staring straight ahead. Once Hope saw the camera crew she turned her head forward. (It's go time)

_We have not heard a single word out of the US  team since they stepped out of the locker room. They came out of the locker room already lined up in order, which is something we have never seen before. You can cut the air in the tunnel with a feather. The normally rowdy bunch is quite, the determination on their faces is uncanny. _

_ Not one of them are smiling as the walk on the pitch. Everyone's attention will be on the hand shakes between the US and former teammate Ashlyn Harris...” _

The starting ceremony went by too quick for anyone's liking. The teams turned to face each other, Germany walks as U.S. stays in place.

US: Lloyd, Solo, Sauerbrunn, Krieger, Holiday, Morgan, Brian, Rapinoe, Health, Johnston, Klingengberg

Germany:  Sasic, Harris, Maier, Krahn, Bartusiak, Kemme, Laudehr, Goessling, Mittag, Popp, Leupolz

Carli held her hand up, angled out to Sasic, doing a modified hand shake where you grip the thumb and upper part of the hand instead. They make eye contact, nodding her head to the captain who nodded back. 

When Ashlyn approaches Carli, the midfielder barely touches her hand, while Ashlyn tires to grip hers. Their eyes meet but only for a second causing the keeper to clench her jaw. Hope and Becky do the same . 

She takes in a deep breath, shallows the lump in her throat, and fights back the tears by clenching her jaw even more. Ali is next. The blonde looks at the defender, hopeful for some reason, and reaches out for Ali. Ali doesn’t look at her but she can see her eyes are glazed over, it pains Ashlyn to see it. Right when their hands are about to touch Ali pulls away, (Suck it up Harris. You did this.) She sees Lauren put her left hand on Ali's shoulder, Ashlyn feels her heart drop, and continues walking. 

No one shakes their former teammates hand, it's  more of a high five. Making Ashlyn wish they would have just slapped her across the face, that would have hurt less in her opi nion. But she gets it, they have every right to be mad.  (What did I do… Not now. You have a game to play Ash. 

_"U.S.A in white. Germany in red. There's the whistle and we are under way here in Montreal." _

Right off the bat Germany brings the pressure on the US side, bringing numbers forward, attacking the back line with ferocity. The black line is called upon over and over, proving through out the tournament that they are a brick wall. 

When ever Germany loses possession they attack with avenges to get it back, almost like a pack of wolves, getting two/t hree players on the ball to win it back. 

In the 6th minute the US gets a corner kick. Pinoe raises her hand, sends in a perfect kick, as Tobin and JJ cross paths throwing off their  defenders. JJ goes unmarked and heads the ball to the goal.

_ "IT'S SAVED BY HARRIS! The US almost getting to the back of the net, but what an amazing save by Harris... Germany with the goal kick to Maier, who's sending it up the left to Goessling. She sends it across to the right, Leupolz picks it up sending it up to Popp who's wide open. Popp shoots it to the upper 90. SOLO! sends it over the cross bars. Matching Harris save for save. It's going to be a battle of the two best Goal Keepers."_

Both teams are attacking relentlessly.

_ " Ali Krieger with the throw in. 4 years in Germany, played with and against some of the players you see here tonight. Krieger played on the back line of the Washington Spirit with Harris as keeper, I can only imagine what it feels like to be on the pitch with her right now. " _

In the 14th Tobin sends a perfectly positioned ball up the middle to Alex, as she breaks away with one touch and shoots it. Ashlyn stretches out her leg and blocks it just in time. 

The pace stays high but neither team can capitalize. 

_"28th minute brings a free kick for Germany , potentially dangerous spot for the US. Either Goessling or Maier set up to take it. Maier runs over. Goessling sends it up. And it's cleared away... But their are two player's down." _

Ali jumps up to head it away, along with JJ and Moe. She sees the ball fly over her head and turns just in time to see Moe clear it, but she hears a loud thud and tries to catch Moe as she falls, knowing she went head to head with Popp. (oh shit) 

"Moe!" she yells out. Moe hits the floor on her back, but rolls over, face down on the pitch. Ali hears her grunting in pain, "Moe can you hear me? Hope!" She looks to the Keeper, "I'm right here Moe."

Hope was still in goal making sure Germany didn’t counter, when she heard Ali yell her name, she summed for the medical staff immediately before running to the midfielder, joining Ali. When she gets there Moe tries to push herself up. "Moe don't move" the Keeper says, she puts one hand on Moe's back and the other on her head gently to calm her. 

"Fuck! It hurts!" Moe says through gritted teeth, kicking her legs.

"I know kid, just wait for the staff ok" Hope reassures her teammate, running her hand up and down Moe's back to try to sooth her. She's never heard Moe cuss before. (Fuck, at least she's talking and moving )

The rest of the 11 get over to the downed player for support. Sticking with Moe till they know she's good to go. 

_ "if you look, the interesting thing you see here is all the US players were over there around their fallen teammate. The German players were all by the bench content with letting the medical staff handle it. Except for  Laudehr  who rushed to Popp and held her head still until the staff made it out. It just shows how close nit this US team has become, they have said it before, they are a family and treat each other as such" _

After about 3 minutes both players stand up receiving an applause. Popp runs back to her bench with blood still running down, while Moe walks off the pitch slowly. After being giving a thumbs up, both Popp and Moe run back on the pitch a few minutes after play is resumed.

42nd: Germany is on the attack, the ball goes to the left. Kling runs after it and with the help of Moe blocking Mittag, she slips it through to  Pinoe. Pinoe kicks it back to Holiday, who launches it a cross the to the right. 

Ali is running full force, the ball lands a few yards in front of her, she beats two German players. The crowd is going crazy as Ali streak's up the right, sending the ball just a head of Alex. 

Ashlyn coming up off her line just a little bit to challenge Alex, when she see's Ali lob it to the forward. 

Alex looks like she's about to send a rocket towards Ashlyn, when instead she kicks it with her left foot to a very open Ali Krieger running straight for the goal. 

_"Krieger is wide open! It's a ... OH MY GOODNESS!!!! WE NEED A REPLAY OF THAT!! That was unbelievable!" _

Ali jogs back up the pitch with her head held high, while Ashlyn lays on her side  catching her breath.

_"You see Harris just launch herself, flying through the air like superwomen. With an incredible grab, tucking the ball safely into her body. It almost looked like it was going straight threw her fingertips. I have no idea how she was able to recover from Morgan faking her out, that Ladies and Gentlemen is the best save I have ever seen. With her fingertips! I'm not sure Hope Solo could have made that save." _

With 4 minutes of stoppage time add, neither team can get to the back of the net. With the whistle sounding the US all jogs straight to the locker room. The score 0-0.

"Hey" Ali turns around to see Hope.

"Hey yourself" She smiles as they walk into the locker room together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so when I was typing this one out it was literally 9 pages and I wasn't even done. So I had to split it. Sorry. Gonna try to put out part 2 by the end of the week. Hope you like it.


	5. Family: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Second Half of Germany vs US

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah life's been difficult lately  
> but here's part 2  
> not sure how I feel about it.

June 30th, 2015 

 

"It was a good shot Ali" Hope states as she walks up to Ali. Ali smiles at the keeper, "yeah must have looked good from 120 yards away,"

"ouch, got jokes Kriegy. For your info I was out of my box princess, so it's less than 120. Plus there is new technology called a Jumbo Tron and replay." Hope counters, crossing her arms with a grin.

"I know you're tall but were you able to see over the brick wall" Ali says with sass.

"Damn Kriegs, I think Hope might need to take an ice bath with Polar Bear after that." Pinoe chimes in. Hope glares at Pinoe then Ali, but ends up shaking her head and starts laughing. 

The locker room laughs at the exchange, they didn’t expect Ali to be this carefree after having just squared off with Ashlyn. Or for Hope to join in, but never the less they are glad.

Jill quiets everyone, "Ok Ladies, I'm not making any changes. We just need to finish what we start. back line is doing amazing, everyone of you is doing amazing out there. Now let's finish this. Show the world what this family is capable of."

Kelley walks over to Hope and sits next to the keeper. "Hi." 

Hope turns her head to get a good look at Kelley, "Hey squirrel" noticing the semi serious look on her face. “Everything ok?”

“um… I ..  I just wanted to tell you that I'm proud of you Hope” Kelley gets out a little nervous. 

“Proud of what Kel” Hope questions.

“For being there for Ali,and me, and well the team.” Kelley smiles into the blue eyes, “you let down your walls and allowed yourself to  become apart of this family, instead of just being on the team. You're showing everyone how much you care about them. And for that I'm proud of you” Kelley reached up and wiped the single tear that escaped from Hopes eyes.

They share a small smile, sitting together in silence waiting for the second half.

Half time is up and the team goes out to the pitch, they huddle on the side line for last minute instruction.

"… remember when we score, and we will score, we do as discussed.. Family on three" with that Hope starts the count down.

The Germany team comes jogging out the tunnel and pass the US team as they shout "Family!" Ashlyn looks over and ends up locking eyes with Hope. (If looks could kill.) by the time her team is huddle up Ashlyn sees that the US is already in position ready to start. (let's do this.)

_ "and we're back for the second half of the WC Semifinal match. The score is nil-nil. " _

The first 10 minutes of the second half is pretty much the same, pressure from both sides, attacks, clearances, chances, but no goals.

The 59th minute however finds the Germany team with a penalty kick, after JJ drags Popp down by the shoulder for a yellow card in the box. (Shit! shit! shit!) JJ feels awful. 

Hope walks off to get a drink of water, she know Sasic is going to take the pk, trying to gather herself and physic out the German. Knowing she is 12 for 12 in penalty kicks during a WC. 

Sasic sets the ball on the pk spot, seeing Hope taking her time, she goes to her team mates giving high fives also trying to physic out the keeper.

The ref approached Hope telling her to get on her line, but she just points to Sasic as if to say she's not even ready either. When Sasic takes her place, the ref backs off telling Hope to watch it.

Hope zones in on Sasic. Sasic looks away with a grin, hears the whistle and slots it left, with Hope diving right. (Fuck!) when Hope hears cheers she's slightly confused, coming out of her rolling dive.

_ "And that is how you take the confidence out of a player for a pk. Solo just walked away to get water taking her time, obviously getting into the head of Sasic. Which caused her to lose her focus. Even though Solo guessed wrong she physiced out Sasic, causing her to shoot just out side the goal. Bravo." _ __   


Sasic missed. Hope can't help but jump up in celebration. She missed the pk. (That was close)

Knowing her defender is beating herself up for having caused the penalty, Hope jogs up to JJ, "Hey Jules, look at me," JJ does as she's told letting a few tears fall, "it's ok, one time, out of the whole tourn -"

"It could have costed us the game Hope."  JJ drops her head at cutting off the Keeper.

"but it didn't JJ." she puts both hands on the shoulders of the center back, "We're human, we have flaws, we make mistakes and we learn. You are a great center back, I wouldn’t want anyone else on the pitch with me..."

"Not even Kelley" with a half smile JJ teases.

Hope chuckles, shakes her head, "Kelley is an outside back..." she sees JJ smirk, knowing what she's thinking the keeper adds, "and don’t you dare make me choose between  her and Ali" JJ just laughs. Remembering what Kelley said in locker room, Hope brings JJ in for a hug, "I need you out there ok, we got this." nodding her head JJ takes her place.

Not even ten minutes later, Alex is at the top of Germany's box when Krahn gets in front of her causing a collision. Alex tumbles in pain, Kling and Holiday rush over to her, while Krahn gets a yellow and the US is awarded a pk. Making sure their teammate is good, they get set up 

Carli sets up the ball, and just stares at it with such focus, almost like she isn't surrounded by thousands of people with the game riding on her shoulders.

The rest of the US is on the sidelines, hand and hand.

Ashlyn steps on her line, she feels with out a doubt that she knows where Carli will send the ball.

A silence falls over the stadium, time is standing still, everyone is holding their breathe.

Carli starts her run, right before she connects with the ball, she looks up at Ashlyn. Ashlyn begins to subtly go left.

Ashlyn steps left as Carli's foot connects with the ball. (I got this) Following the ball with her eyes, she reaches out, and the ball just grazes the finger tips of... her right hand. She hears it hit the back of the net, the stadium erupts. The ball was slotted straight down the middle, perfectly places where she was standing before she moved left (Damn, was I a target). What she sees when she looks back, breaks her  to the core .

_ "I can not believe what I am seeing, Not a single US member is celebrating this goal. Not even the side lines, not even Carli Lloyd. As soon as the ball hit the back of the net, they all turned their backs, with one finger raised to the sky, jogging back to their positions. The sidelines lifting their hands in unison and walking back to the bench. How do you not celebrate 1-0 in a semifinal match." _

Ashlyn bit the inside of her bottom lip so hard she draws blood. She had prepared for the gloating and celebration if they scored on her, knowing how rowdy the bunch got. This was something else.

_ "Well John, we all knew this was going to be an emotional game for the US, having to face their former team mate Ashlyn Harris in goal. They are sending a message to Harris, that message has been clearly received. There was speculation that Harris had left without notice, though it wasn't confirmed, it seems pretty evident. The US is clearly hurt by the keeper and means nothing but business now. Not a single celebration must have been something they talked about before the game. I could only imagine what's going on in Ashlyn Harris's mind, seeing her former teammates not celebrating and turn their back on you after scoring a goal. This is just insane." _

If you were to ask each player how they felt at that moment, they'd tell you it hurt like hell. They didn't want to celebrate scoring against Ashlyn, it felt wrong, but they had a job to do. 

72nd: Tobin goes to head a ball out, but ends up jumping on Kemme, and Germany gets a free kick. Tobin shakes her head and kinda  chuckles in disbelief. (well that just happened) Kemme extends her hand out to Tobin and helps her up. 

Both teams set up, Goessling sends in a cross from about 30 yards out.

\----

Ali's POV:

(You got this Krieger) I see the cross coming my way, (clear it) I jump up and head the ball full force, connecting not only with it, but with something much harder.

I swear I can see the stars above me (they look beautiful tonight, wait? aren't we in a closed stadium.) My body feels weightless even as I hit the floor. (the floor? shouldn't that hurt?) After a second, off in the distance I hear my name being called.

The world around me is going blurry, I know I heard her voice, I can feel a hand on my cheek. I see the outline of someone above me, they are talking, but I can't make out the words as I succumb to the darkness "Ashlyn..."

\-----

Hope's POV:

(Ok here it comes) The cross is perfectly placed inside the top of the 6. (Ali's got it) I stay back, ready if anything comes my way. That's when I see it. Sasic coming at an angle. I know Ali doesn't see her. (No. No. No. Shit!)

My stomach drops as I watch their heads collide, the sound is unbearable loud. I try to run to her by my body's moving to slow. They both hit the turf, Sasic gets up and Ali is still on the floor.

"ALI!" My scream echo's with someone else's, but I don’t care, I need to get to her.

I put my hand on her cheek, looking into her eye's that all ready show signs of vacancy. "Ali stay with me, look at me." I become frantic as I see her eye's closing, "No, no, open your eyes, open your e-" I stop talking when I see her lips part, and I hear her breath out, "Ashlyn " as they close and her head falls into my hand.

My heartbreaks, head jerks up and my eyes dart to the keeper who's at center field being held back by her teammates. (I can't believe this)

\----

Ashlyn's POV:

As soon as I see Ali getting ready to jump up, I began to run out of my box. The world around me has become muted as I'm forced to watched in slow motion, Ali going to head the ball away. Sasic trying to head it in goal. ( No. No. No. No)

The sound of their heads colliding is the only noise I could comprehend. My heart stops beating, I'm sure of it, and suddenly I'm being held back by Bartisiak and Krahn in the center circle. (I have to get to her) Both players falling to the turf but I see Sasic get up almost immediately, I begin to panic.

"ALEX!" I screams at center field, my voice, along with someone else's, seems to echo in the stadium as it falls silent once again.

I know I don’t have the right, but I become enraged when I see Hope at her side. She looks frantic as she placed a hand on her cheek. (That should be me) I can't make out what she's saying to Ali and it's pissing me off even  more. Ali's head goes limp in her  hand, I can feel my chest tighten, then I see Hopes head turn to me. What I see when our eye's meet isn't what I was expecting. She looks scared, I don't even think that's possible, and I feel the color drain from my face. 

My knees feel weak ( I need to get to her) I begin to push Bartisiak and Krahn off of me.

" Stoppen Ashlyn. Sie können nicht dorthin gehen." {Stop Ashlyn. You can not go over there} Krahn tries to stop me.

It almost doesn't work until I look back up and see Ali lift her hand to her head. (oh thank god)

\-----

Ali's POV:

I groan as I lift my hand to my head, my eyes tightly shut, " Well that hurt" I rasp out. I can hear someone release a sigh of relief, "God Al, you scared me." I open one eye slowly and then the other, seeing Hope bent over me. "Why were you scared?" I look at her confused.

She scrunches her eyebrow in worry and looks at the medical staff member. (Brian. His name is Brian). "what" I ask looking between to two. "You were unconscious." (great now they are gonna take me out) I sigh and wait for the questions.

"What's your name?"

"Alexandra Krieger"

"Do you know where you are?"

I grow impatient. "I am in the US box, on the pitch, in Montreal stadium, in Canada. Today is June 30th 2015, second half of the World Cup semifinal match, against  #1 world ranked Germany...." I pause for a second and close my eyes, "Playing against the women I'm still in love with, even though she ripped out my heart back in January..." I open my eyes and look at Brian, "I'm fine really, don’t take me out. I need to finish this game. I promise if something feels wrong I will gladly step off the pitch, I wouldn't risk the sacrifice we have made to get here. I swear I'm ok." I look at him with pleading eyes. 

He looks at Hope and she shrugs, “She sounds fine too me but you get the last call”

“This is my job on the line here Ali” Brian states.

"I swear Brian." I plead once more.

"We're gonna walk off the field and you are going to do a set of sprints, If you look fine we'll put you back in." I nod. Brian tells Lauren to run over and get approval from Jill to play with 10 for a few. 

Hope and Brian help me sit up and I tell them I feel good no head rush or anything. (Thank God) the crowd cheers and I wave. I gaze  out towards center field for some reason, and my eyes lock with Ashlyn. ( Why did I do that) She looks like she's seen a ghost. I quickly look away and Hope helps me stand up. I'm able to walk off the pitch and Brian tells Jill the plan, which thankfully she agreed to. I see everyone take their places and the whistle blows. I do my set of sprints and Brian clears me, I rush back to field. (I'm not going down without a fight)

\-----

_ “ and Krieger is back on the field. I thought for sure they were going to sub her out. The way Hope Solo looked while by her side it seemed  serious, but here she, living up to her German last name of Warrior. We see Kelley O’Hara checking in with the 4t h official. The US sending in a fresh pair of legs in the 74th minute. Germany has yet to make a substitutions." _

Kelley gets subbed in for Tobin. In true Kelley nature she brings fire to the pitch. Helping with defense as well as assisting in attacks. Germany doesn't know what to do with the squirrel. 

79th minute brings in Abby for Pinoe. Germany begins to struggle, with the US having two subs and they only brought in one, who isn't at 100%.

Germany does however send in a few shots,most of them are wide or over the post. 

_ "You just see the confidence radiating from Hope Solo and her ability to read the plays and direct her line. It comes from the years of  experience. One shot that was on goal, it looked like a difficult save from up here but Solo made it look so easy." _

85th minute: Germany gets a throw in on the US side. But it's quickly taken away by Lauren, who streaks' up the middle. She sends it up top to Abby, she holds it there for a few weighting her options. Looking up Abby sees Moe coming her way and passes it down to her. 

Moe sees Carli in the 18 and sends a great pass to her. Carli notices that Alex in marked pretty good but continues towards the goal warding off her defender. 

Kelley goes forward in the 18 as well trying to keep something open when she sees Carli getting closer to the 6 she runs to the goal. Carli sees her and cuts it back straight to where Kelley will be. 

Ashlyn thought Carli just kicked it wrong but when she turns see doesn’t even have time to react, she just stands there, completely thrown off. 

_ "Harris doesn’t look focused, To be honest it doesn't look like she's mentally recovered from when Krieger went down... " _

Kelley is unmarked, running and jumps in front of Kemme, perfectly timed. The flying squirrel karate kicks the ball into the back of the net. Her first International goal. The crowd goes wild.

_ "and the US is up 2-0. Harris just looks  baffl ed, she didn’t even try to follow the ball. That's where her inexperience at this level hinders her...  and the US continues to send their message.. " _

As excited as she is,Kelley doesn't celebrate, she sticks her arm up and jogs back. 

They team wants to celebrate for Kelley but when they see her sticking to what they discussed, they follow suit. Jogging back into position  with their finger help up. 

Carli looks over to Kelley, "O'Hara!" everyone turns to took at Carli, with her right hand she taps her heart twice, bring two fingers to her lips  with a kiss and points to the brunette, nodding her head. It's not the celebration she wants to give the younger player but she felt that acknowledging her first goal on the field was necessary. 

Kelley smiles at the gesture and looks over to Alex, who does the same thing. She turns to see that the rest of the team do it as well, she's over whelmed and puts her hand over her heart. 

They are all in place once more and Kelley steals a glance back to Hope. Hope smiles and shakes her head, repeating the gesture as well. 

The entire US team is on a high at the point. They are up 2-0 against number one ranked Germany. Germany is trying their hardest to bring in the attacks but you can see how tired they are. 

Ashlyn is frustrated that the coach hasn't made anymore subs. This is not how she imagined this game going at all.

3 minutes of stoppage time is added, but it doesn’t make a difference for Germany. 

When the final whistle is blown, Kelley drops to her knees as the team and bench envelope her. Finally able to show how proud they are. 

Carli makes a bee line for Hope, "We're going to the final!". 

Hope embraces her long time friend, "Yes we are!" Her smile falls when she sees Ashlyn walking straight for Ali. She all but runs towards the keeper.

Ashlyn's so focused on Ali that when she sees the brunette's signature smile, she melts, that is until she follows her defender's gaze. Now she's staring into the eyes of Hope Solo, who looks like she's about to kill her if she gets any closer. Ashlyn stops dead in her tracks clenching her fist as Ali throws her arms around Hopes neck. 

Hope is thrown off when see fells arms around her neck, but she doesn’t let it show to Ashlyn, she just keeps her signature bitch face to the blonde and hugs the person back.

Ali moves on to hug someone else, oblivious to the fact that the two keepers are silently at war. 

Hope approaches Ashlyn stopping a few feet away, "You know I swore I was going to beat the shit out of you for what you did... but I won't, I won't hurt her like that."

By now everyone has noticed the stand of between the keepers, no body moves, no body makes a sound. 

Ashlyn takes a step towards Hope, she's had enough, through gritted teeth she leans in, "Stay away from my girlfriend Solo," 

As Ashlyn begins to step back, Hope scoffs, "She's not your girlfriend anymore Harris"  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh snap... So that just happened  
> what do you think about that.


	6. I Got You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some times when one heart shatters another one gets put back together. Or does it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I've been MIA here's a super long Ch.  
> This is mostly Hope's POV. Sorry, not sorry.  
> I wanted to do this ch before I continued the last ch.  
> To be honest it's kind of all over the place, but I kind of like it.  
> I hope you like it too.  
> Not gonna lie this one is kinda tough but you'll thank me at the end.  
> Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or what ever else you celebrate this time around.

-January 20th, 2015- 

Hope's POV: 

I've always been protective of my teammates, but from afar. I've never put myself out there, more in the shadows, in the background, watching over them. (Damn, that sounds kind of creepy Solo) It's usually Ashlyn who would be the physical protector, getting rid of unwanted advances from guys or girls that tried to get close to our teammates.  

Like the time this disgusting guy couldn’t take the hint that A-Rod didn’t want to talk to him, before he even put his hand on her Ashlyn grabs his wrist, "You're leaving now." Before he could protest, he for some reason, looked at me and I just glared at him, he stuttered and turned around walking away. A-Rod had thanked her a million times, too which Ashlyn simply relied, "Don't worry, I got you." putting here around the smaller blonde. We shared a look and nodded at each other, like we had this unspoken keeper agreement to always protect our teammates, both on and off the pitch. We are the last line of defense. 

Or when later that night when Tobin was sitting at the table next to mine, this girl came up to her and starting whispering in her ear and became handsy. Tobin had shied away from the touches and politely told her she wasn't interested but the girl didn’t let up. I was about to intervene, Tobin looked really uncomfortable.  

Then Ashlyn comes out of no where and asserts herself between the two. Her back to the girl, facing Tobin carrying on a conversation like the girl wasn’t even there. The girl tapped Ashlyn on the shoulder and Ashlyn turned around, "Can I help you?" looking as annoyed as possible. The girl had a smirk on her face, "actually you can, lets head back to my place so I can show you how," she put her hand on Ashlyn's stomach. I watched the whole scene unfold in disbelief (Wow this girl is crazy).  

I saw Ashlyn look down at her hand, she gently grabbed her hand, lean in, "I'm spoken for, and honestly you're not my friends type, so instead of embarrassing yourself some more I suggest you find someone else to take home." she let go of the girls hand and turned back to Tobin. I couldn't help but chuckle, Ash and I made eye contact again and I smirked raising an eyebrow at her, she rolled her eyes. I would have paid good money to record the look on the girls face before she turned around and walked away. Tobin was laughing, "spoken for huh Ash," "Shut it Toby." Tobin threw her hands up in mock surrender.  

That was Ashlyn, protector off the pitch, always had our teams back, always there.  

Which is why I still can not believe she did this, to Ali non the less. It's been a rough 2 1/2 weeks. I feel this overwhelming need to protect Ali now, to protect this team. 

I've never in my life seen the pain housed in someone's body like I did that day. It's made my past feel like scraps and bruises instead of the hell I thought I went through.  

I'm packing up my stuff for tomorrows flight back home. Tobin is out with Kelley and Alex doing god knows what, those three are crazy. I'm glad Kelley has them, she's been withdrawn since the whole thing happened. I really hope she doesn't think some thing is going on between me and Ali, that's the last thing I need right now.  

____ 

Ali's POV: 

It's the last day of camp.  

17 days since she left.  

16 nights that I've fall asleep not in her arms.  

413 hrs since I last felt her on my skin.  

24,780 minutes without hearing her voice, with the exemptions of her voicemail. 

Her voicemail, I’ve called her so many times hoping she'd pick up. That now I just call to hear her stupid, sweet, loving voice one more time. (Pathetic Alex, just pathetic)  

I'm supposed to be packing up my room. At first they wanted me to trade rooms, but I told them it was fine. My teammates have been volunteering to sleep in the vacant bed so I won't be alone. It's mostly been Heather and Pinoe, which I appreciate cause they keep me smiling and don't prod when I don't want to talk. 

I prefer to have Hope though she sees straight though my façade, and I can break down to her without feeling to pathetic. She's the only one that won't feed me that bullshit, ‘it'll be ok.’  

To be honest no ones really told me that, and I'm glad, but at the same time I see the way they look at me, like I'm frail and will break at any moment, any word of Ashlyn.  

Jokes on them cause you can't break what's already been shattered. You can only turn it into fine dust at this point. Which I'm sure is what my heart and soul are now, finely grounded pieces of grain, that have been blown away with the wind. 

I know everyone's worried about me. I would be too if I could feel any other emotion then heartache, hate, and the most recently emptiness.  

Emptiness, funny isn't it. How does one feel emptiness when it means the absence of. It means nothing is there. It's empty. Void. Nonexistent.  

Yet it's the only thing that is filling, all consuming my being right now. 

She was my drug, everything about her intoxicated me to a level of permanent high. 

I need  to hear her voice, my small dose of her, so I grab my phone and tap on her contact name ‘My Keeper Stud’ and her picture pops up. It's a picture of us at the beach, in her environment, my lips pressed again her cheek, her one sided dimple smile that slays me every time.  

I spend so much time staring at the pic that before I can raise the phone to my ear, it says call ended and her picture disappears. ( what the hell) I tap on her contact name again and put the phone straight to my ear. “I'm sorry. The number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service-“ I throw my phone across the room.  

I can't hear her voice, I can't get my fix. I can feel her diminishing from my veins. I'm crashing down from my high. I’ve been in such an impaired state of mine since she been apart of my life, that now that I can't hear her voice it's like quitting cold turkey. 

The withdraws hit with such intensity. 

All the emotions I felt the day I heard Jill say she left me come flooding back. I can't breathe as it happens again, my hurricane returns. (Fuck you Ashlyn!)  

……….  

I can't remember how or even when I left, but now I'm staying in front of my hotel room door with a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand. I push open my door and enter into my abyss… 

____ 

Hope's POV: 

I sit on my bed looking at the time, I realize I haven't heard from Ali in almost two hours. I shoot her a text. 

KRIEGER: You done packing yet? I could use a walk. 

I put my phone down and finish putting a few things away. 15minutes go by with no answer( Weird … She's usually pretty quick in replying) maybe she fell asleep 

KRIEGER: Wake up sleepy head.  

KRIEGER: Come on Kriegs I'm bored and Kelley is with Tobin and Alex 

It's been almost an hour and I'm starting to get worried. (Maybe she's with HAO)  

SOLO: Hey, you with Ali? 

HAO: Not uh try Pinoe. I think she said something about taking her for coffee. 

HAO: Everything ok? 

SOLO: Ok thanks, and yeah just haven't heard from her is all. 

HAO: Ok, Let me know if she's with her. 

SOLO: Will do.  

 

SOLO: Hey Pinoe are you with Ali? 

PINOE: Nope hanging with Syd try HAO 

SOLO: HAO said you guys were going for coffee. 

PINOE: that was like 3 hrs ago. She said she was gonna pack and hang out with you 

PINOE: I'm assuming she's not with you... 

I call Ali a couple times but it goes straight to voicemail. I'm starting to get worried, she hasn't allowed herself to be alone more than an hour since it happen. I get a group text from HAO and Pinoe. 

HAO: Hey she's not answering her phone. 

PINOE: Some one said they saw her leaving the hotel about 2 hrs ago said she looked out of it. 

SOLO: and they didn't think to check if she was ok?!! 

HAO: I asked to receptionist, he said she left and came back in like 10 minutes with something. 

PINOE: maybe she got food? 

SOLO: She's not answering her door. HAO get a key to her room.  

HAO: Be right there 

PINOE: Head your way too 

 

I'm pacing outside her door waiting for HAO (Please just be in a really deep sleep in your bed) my mind is racing with the possibilities that she's not in her room and the darkness as finally swallowed her whole, and I wasn't there to protect her. I've failed her, I told her I'd be there for her.  

I feel a hand on my shoulder, I spin around so fast I give myself whiplash. "Sorry... what are we gonna do if she's not in there... do we tell coach she's missing?" Pinoe asks cautiously, I can see the panic in her eyes and I wonder if my eyes show the same thing. Syd puts her arms around Pinoes shoulders giving her a little squeeze. "Let's just see if she's in here ok Pin." 

The midfielder nods her head slowly trying to reassure herself.  

I turn around again when I hear the elevator ding and see Heather jog out towards us. I take in a deep breathe and she hands me the key card, "Ok uhm Syd... you mind waiting out here." I feel bad for asking but I don’t want Ali to be upset, I know it's only been HAO, Pinoe and myself that have stayed the night with her. Syd nods in understanding, I send a small smille in return. 

I insert the key card, watch the light turn green and push down on the handle. I walk in first, followed by HAO then Pinoe, the smell of whiskey hits us instantly. (shit) I call out for her but she doesn’t answer, we look in the bathroom but there's no one. I look down and I see her phone broken on the floor in front of the tv. ( Fuck ) 

I get past the corner and see her head just above the bed by the window. I rush over to her, she's leaning against the bed, the back of her head against it, hanging just to left. "Oh my god" I hear Heather say and Pinoe gasp. There's a visible line on her cheeks, where the river of tears were no doubt flowing. Her arms are down at her sides, noticing the bottle of Jack Daniels on it's side next to her hand, I pick it up seeing there's a shot at the most left. I put the back of my hand in front of her nose. "She's breathing." (Thank God)  

I put my hands on her cheeks, "Ali.. Ali wake up." She doesn't move or make a sound. "open your eye's Al" she's till not responding. "Hope what do we do" I hear from a scared Pinoe. I put my arms under her and begin to pick her up. Ali's body responds too mine, her hands searching for something, she rest grabs onto my shirt like she did the first time I picked her up like this. 

"Ash?" she whispers out, furrowing her brow but not opening her eyes. "Ali its Hope... open your eyes for me please." She opens her eyes and stares at me confused, her eyes are bloodshot with bags under them. "Hope? why are you-" her face and eyes fall, like reality just hit her. The look brings an ache to my soul, that I've never felt. 

She pushes of my chest and I nearly drop her, "Al-" 

"Put me down!" she yells, "let me go" she slams her fist on my chest.  "Ali calm-" "let go Hope!" 

I put her down and she stands there for a second, "Why... HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME?!" her hands grab at her chest She's looks at me pleading with her eye for the answer's I don’t have. She looks down, tears are now pouring down her face. "It was the last thing- the last thing I had- Her voice- She- FUCK!" 

Her body begins to shake, she's gasping for air as she cries her soul out. I embrace her and she falls into me, Heather comes to her right and Pinoe on the left, we surround her with as much love as humanly possible. "I don’t know what to do guys... she disconnected her phone" I let go enough to look at Heather and Pinoe, they both have tears in their eyes. "I tried to drown her out. I don’t want to feel like this anymore."  

"Drinking isn't the answer honey,"  

"I didn't-" 

"Ali the bottle is empty" 

"I COULDN'T OK!" She push us all away and we let go to give her some room ,so she sits on the edge of the bed, "I opened the bottle put it to my lips, but I couldn’t take a drink." she rocks back of forth, "I wanted to be as drunk as she used to make me feel but I knew nothing would compare... I couldn't drink it... so I cried, and cried, until I passed out, I guess it spilt cause I swear to you didn't drink it." she rubs her face with her hands and bends forward. "I feel like I'm at the bottom of a hole and every time I try to jump to get out, it gets farther and farther away, I get deeper into the hole." 

I drop to my knees in front of her and pick up her head in my hands, "hey look at me" she raised her eyes slowly, they look so different, like I'm looking into the eyes of a stranger and it scares me to no end. "I got you ok..." I look up at Pinoe and Heather, "We got you. You are not alone Ali. We are going to be here for you every step of the way. I'm down there with you in that hole, Heather and Megan are going to help us get out, the whole team is going to get us out ok. I'm not leaving you." 

She lets out a few for cries before she nods her head and looks up too the girls, they both smile and nod their heads to her. "We'll get you out Ali" "We promise" she opens arms and we hug her again. "I love you guys" "we love you too Ali" 

"I'm sorry if I scared you guys..." 

"No. None of that." 

"We're all here now, that's all that matters ok" 

"ok.." 

After a few more minutes of holding onto each other we slowly let go. Me and Pinoe decided to clean up the whiskey that spilt, after a minute Pinoe stands up, "I gotta tell Syd she should go back to the room ..." We look back and HAO is running her fingers through a sleeping Ali's hair. "You guys should go get some rest, I'll stay with her tonight." I'm hesitant at first but Pinoe puts her hand on my shoulder, "If you are going to be in that hole with her you're gonna need your rest Hope." 

I agree after thinking about it. (It's going to be twice as rough now) 

I walk back to my room with a heavy heart, I really wish I could take away Ali's pain. Take away everything, I can handle it, I've felt so much pain in my time that I can bear her load.  

I open the door to my room and close it, resting my forehead and fist against it letting out a heavy sigh. 

“How is she?” I hear someone say behind me. Turning around quickly I see Kelley sitting on the chair near the window. 

My heart is racing, “she's barely holding on… You scared me Kell, I thought you were out with Tobin and Alex.” I exhale and walk over to sit on my bed across from her. 

“I was ...” She hesitates and looks at me, “Tobin calls her everyday… She never picks up, but she still calls.” I open my mouth but she stops me. “When we found out it was disconnected we figured that Ali already knew, so we hurried back to check on her. We met Syd outside her door and she told us that you Pinoe and Heather were in there. So I figured I'd wait for you in here, Tobin gave me the key....”  

She looks down at her feet. I stay silent for a minute trying to gather my thoughts. 

“I'm sorry I shouldn't-“ she stands abruptly, I look up and see tears running down her face.  

She turns to walk away but I grab onto her hand and stop her, “Kell…” She doesn't turn around but I hear her breathing in sharply. I turn her around and embrace her, holding on as tight as I can. “Talk to me… Please.” 

She breaks, crying from her heart. She holds onto me like her life depends on it. So I stroke her hair lightly and patiently wait for her to speak.  

“ I'm sorry...” She whispers out between sobs.  

“Kelley there’s no-“ 

“No I need to say this Hope.” I nod for her to continue, she's still holding on to me and lets out a few more sobs. “ I'm sorry.. I made you try to make us-“  

“Kelley you didn't make me-“ I start to pull away to look her in the eyes, but her yelling stops me. 

"Hope you never wanted this! You never wanted-  I basically forced you to try, I knew you didn't want to.” I lower my head so it's resting on her shoulder.  

“ I was stupid to think it could work. That we could work.” She pushes off me and I let go out of confusion. “If Ash could just leave Ali like that without a trace, when she was visibly in love with her. What's stopping you from leaving when I know you didn't even want to be in a relationship! How do we even stand a chance if they couldn't make it”  

Normally being compared to someone else like that would piss me off so much I’d just leave or shut down completely. But when I look at her, I look at her and I see how scared she is, how her eyes betray the words she just spoke. I know she still believes in us, it's in her eyes, she's just giving me an out. 

“Fine... If that's what you want” I see her close her eyes, I walk past her towards the door. I turn around, “but …” She turns around confused, sadness overtaking her eyes that I'm at the door already, “I'm not letting you leave this room thinking I don't want to be with you… If you want out then go. But don't fed me this bullshit ‘I know You don't want this’ Because you don't know Kelley. No one can make me do anything I don't want to… I want you Kelley, I always have and I always will.” I feel the tears falling down my cheek.  

I see her standing there, yet to say a word. I take a chance and step towards her. She looks up at me, hesitantly, and takes a step forward as well. We slowly inch closer, Kelley puts her hand on my shoulders and I snake my arms around her waist, “I'm scared Hope…” she puts her head on my chest, and kiss the top of her head.  

"Me too Kell”  

“H.. How do I know .. You won't change your mind…” she states more than asks. 

“You're just gonna have to trust me. I'm going to fight for you, because… “ I gently pull away and lift her chin so that I'm starring into the galaxies I've gotten lost in so many times. My smile reaches into the depths of my heart, “I am without a doubt in soul, madly, deeply, in love with you Kelley Maurien O’Hara, and I am not going to let you go.”  

The last of my walls come tumbling down. It's crazy cause I always thought some one would tear them down, not that I would  let them down myself. It's actually really liberating.  

As I'm gazing into her eyes I see the doubt and worry begin to subside, she does this adorably weird combination between crying and laughing. I just smile down at her, allowing her to see this newly exposed piece of me. My last hidden self, the part that is in love with her.  

I kiss the tears away. “Say it again” she whispers.  

“I am in love with you Kelley O’Hara.” I repeat with so much emotion. “I love you”  

She crashes her lips on mine, deepening the kiss with passion I've never felt before. I always knew she was holding back, just enough to herself, to keep her heart safe. I allow myself to get lost in this new passion. Both of us letting go completely, guards down, no more doubt, trusting each other unconditionally. I slow down the kiss and release my lips from her reluctantly, I still have something to tell her.  

"When I first saw Ali after Jill told her about Ashlyn... I swear I saw her heart and soul shatter, I could feel the pain radiating from her Kell... I … I knew at that moment, that I would do anything to protect you from that kind of pain. I would rather be tortured every second of every day than be the cause of that kind of destruction. I am not going to hurt you like that, I am not going to let you go. As long as you want me in your life I will fight to stay in it. I swear." 

I kiss her with the same intensity as before. She pulls back this time, "Damn Solo, you had me at 'I want you'" She laugh/cries again and my heart melts even more, "So this is happening ….  finally, I got you, the big bad Hope Solo." 

"You've always had me Squirrel, from the moment we locked eyes and you tripped walking into the lobby." I chuckle at the memory. 

She playfully slaps my arm, "Took you long enough to admit it." 

We smile at each other, I know she hasn’t said I love you back to me but I'm surprisingly ok with it.  

I realize it's getting late and my plane leaves early tomorrow so I'm forced to say goodnight. Kelley isn't thrilled but we are still 'at camp' so she can't sleep in here. I walk her to your room and she pulls me into a passionate kiss before pulling away. 

I smile down at her and she smiles up at me 

 "Sorry I just had to have one last kiss" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See!! Told you you'd thank me. Ali and Hope are bros, they have been from the beginning.  
> Bet you're gonna go back and rethink that last couple ch huh.


	7. The Stars: Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo... Yeah here's an update *nervous laughter* sorry  
> As a reminder this is a fictional story.  
> I thought you guys could use some happiness before I break your hearts (mine included) with the chapter that happens after the game.  
> Any way part two is almost done might post it today to make up for going awol.  
> I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Italic indent is a flashback.

-June 27th 2014- 

 

"Conversing with the enemy Harris." Nikki comments as she approaches Ashlyn, who's talking to Whitney near the tunnel. They are at BBVA stadium practicing for tomorrows game against the Dash.  

Whitney had showed up early to the stadium to talk to Ashlyn. She shoots Nikki a feeble tempt of a glare, "I am trying to convince Ashlyn to finally ask Ali out, that was before you so rudely interrupted us Cross." Ashlyn drops her head and covers her face with her hands.  

"I missed you too Whitney" Nikki laughs, "Maybe if we double team her she'll give in, cause I've been trying to convince her since she flew to DC, back when Ali tore her ACL.." Nikki and Whitney hug and Ashlyn looks up at her two best friends. She knows they are not going to let up.  

"Guys seriously she's my-" 

"Best friend" Whit and Nikki say in unison, "We know" Ashlyn drops her head back looking up and lets out an exaggerated sigh.  

"Can you honestly say that nothing bad will come of this?" She looks at her two best friends, "Can you guaranty that our friendship wont be different if she doesn’t see me like that?" The look on Ashlyn's face says how scared she is to take this step, to step on the other side of the line that she and Ali have been dancing on for years.  

Whitney turns to Nikki, who look at the blonde for a second more before she turns to Whitney, the two seem to have a conversation with each other in their heads. It drives Ashlyn crazy casing her to shift restlessly. After what seems like forever in her eyes, they nod at each other, "Gosh, you guys are weird" 

Nikki responds, "You love us! but not as much as you love A-" her mouth is being covered by Ashlyn before she can finish. Ashlyn has her arm around her and they start to wrestle. Nikki puts up a pretty good fight but Ashlyn basically carries her away. 

"What was that about?" Ali asks once she gets closer to Whitney. Ali had noticed Whit, Nikki and Ashlyn talking and wanted to say hi to her fellow National Teamer. Whit just chuckles, "No idea" and wraps Ali in a hug, "How you doing Ali?"  

Ali just smiles and shakes her head. "I'm good, I thought those two were done wrestling for the day, but I guess that's what happens when one your best friends is on the same team as you" They look over and Ash has Nikki on the ground still covering her mouth from behind. They laugh and start talking. 

"Harris! Cross! Don’t make me bench you for tomorrow!" The duo look over at their coach and Ashlyn lets go, "Sorry Coach" they both reply.  

Nikki sits up and looks over at Whit and Ali, she sees Ali look over, smile and shake her head at Ashlyn. 

Nikki looks at Ashlyn, "Look at her Ash," Ashlyn looks over to Ali and smiles, "how can you doubt that she wants to be with you?"  

"It's not that simple Nik" She looks back to her friend. 

"I see the way she looks at you Ash" 

"Let me guess. Like I put the stars in the sky. Please, she knows I'm anything but perfect" They both look at Ali and Whit, who are laughing, heads thrown back, happy as can be.  

"No… like the stars she's seen have always been dull, but you've made them shine brighter" Nikki turns to Ashlyn, "like you've made her whole world brighter just by existing." Ashlyn spins her head to look at the defender, "She likes you as you are Ash." Nikki stands up and offers her hand you Ashlyn, "Just think about it. Seriously. You guys have a really strong bond that won't be broken. Take a chance Harris." She pats Ashlyn on the back and walks to the locker room.  

Ashlyn walks over to Ali and Whitney, "Well Whit we should go shower cause we without a doubt stink," Ali laughs out.  Whit laughs and Ash just shakes her head. Ali starts to walk to the locker room and looks over to Ashlyn, "I'll meet you in the locker room" Ali nods, waves to Whit and goes into the tunnel.   

Whit waves to Ali and looks at Ashlyn, "Care to share?" she asks. Ashlyn shakes her head and looks at Whitney, “Nikki made a few good points … but it doesn't make it any easier Whit”  

"Look. Ash.. we wouldn't be pushing this so much if we had any doubt that it would go south between you too." She puts her hand on Ashlyn’s shoulder, "They way you two look at each other, like you could care less if any one else was in the room. Like your lives would become dark with out the other." 

Ashlyn looks at Whit, she sees the truth of her words in her eyes, so she just nods in response. Taking in the words of her two best friends. "Take a chance Ashlyn" Whit says.  

Ashlyn shakes her head with a chuckle, it scared her how much her two best friends spoke the same words, "Ok … I'll leave it to chance then, If I get a shut out tomorrow, I'll ask her on a date." 

"Promise?"  

"I Promise" 

\------------------- 

-June 28th 2014- 

 

As fate would have it, Ashlyn gets a shut out. 

Once the final whistle blows she can't help but throw her head back and laugh. (Of course) Subconsciously though she's knew she would, she trusted her abilities when between the post.  

Ali rushes over, jumping on her, "You did great Ash! You got a shut out too!"  

Ashlyn catches her with ease and spins the right back around, "Well you and Nikki barley let the ball get to me. Almost like it was your mission to get me a clean sheet." she state with raised eyebrows.  

"Well it's kind of our job Harris," Nikki comments as Ash puts Ali down, “ but don't be modest, you had some sweet saves” 

Whit pops up out of no where, "Great game guys, Congrats on the shut out Ash" she winks at the keeper, and Nikki looks curiously at her.  

"Thanks Whit" Ashlyn responds with a hint of sarcasm. Ali and Nikki look at each other and shrug, not knowing with was going on.  

After signing some autographs and taking pictures with the fans, Ali and Ash are the last too enter the locker room. Nikki tells them they have about 25 mins before the team bus leaves them, so they shower in a hurry. They finish getting dressed with 10 minutes to spare. (wow that has to be a record of some sort)  Ashlyn is packing her gear into her bag when Ali walks out from the bathroom, after putting on some mascara.  

Ali sits in front of her locker to find all her gear already packed, she looks over to Ashlyn and smiles, "Why thank you Stud."  

Ashlyn smirks at her and winks, "No problem." She picks up both bags, "Come on Princess, before the bus leaves us here."  

Ashlyn hadn't expected Ali to stand up and turn so quick that they end up with their faces inches away from each other.  

Ali's breathing hitches as she collides with the blonde, bringing her hands up to Ash's chest to steady herself. Ashlyn had dropped the bags, her hands instinctively going to the defender hips to catch her, she swallows audibly.  

Ali could feel the keeper's heart beat quicken when her own eyes fall down to Ash lips. Unable to control her actions, Ali licks her lips.  

The action didn't go unnoticed by Ashlyn (Holy... Fuck) she parts her lips, "...Alex..." she breathes out 

"yeah.." Ali says breathlessly, eyes still trained on the keepers lips.  

"Will you go on a date with me?"  

The question snaps Ali out of her trance, "huh?" her eye's met Ashlyn's with question.  

This causes Ashlyn to let go of Ali's waist and back up a little bit. She rubs the back of her neck and stutters like a fool, "I, uh, asked-" she sighs (Take a chance Harris) "Would you like to go on a date with me... On Monday?" 

Ali is still in shock (Did she … she just asked me out? like on a real da-) her thoughts are interrupted by Ashlyn. 

"you don’t have to... it was stupid.." 

"Ash" 

"I mean, gosh I'm so stupid..." 

"Ash" 

We- uh- we're friends..." 

"Sure" 

"Why would you want to... wait- what?" 

“I'd love to go on a date with you” Ali grins at Ashlyn's expression, she looks like a kid who was just told they are going to Disneyland for the first time.  

"Really?" the pure, joy filled, beautiful smile Ashlyn made, made Ali's heart melt.  

“Really, really” Ali matched Ashlyn's smile as she stepped forward and kissed Ash on the cheek.  

Just when Ali stepped back Nikki came in, “guys come on th-“ she looked at the close proximity of the two. Ash was in a daze with the goofiest smile and Ali was blushing bright red, Nikki raised an eyebrow, “uh… bus is ready.” She turned around quickly and walked out leaving the duo alone. 

Ash finally snapped out of her trance and smiled at Ali, she turned and offered her arm to Ali, who chuckled, “your chariot awaits Princess.”  

Ash picks up the discarded bags and Ali slips her hand through the keepers arm and they make their way to the bus. 

(Holy shit I can't believe she said yes) 

(wow I can't believe she asked me out)  

 

\-------- 

-July 1st 2014- 

 

“I don't get it HAO. Yesterday was perfection.” Ali huffs. She's in Heather’s hotel room a floor below her Spirit teammates. It was early morning and the two were going to breakfast together.  

The 29th was a travel day for the Spirit to Boston, where they would play the Breakers on the 2nd. 

“I thought for sure she was gonna ask me out. She didn't even kiss me!” Ali continues to whine to her best friend.  

Heather just shakes her head at the dramatic defender, “Ali. Calm. Down. I haven't had coffee yet and quit honestly I have no idea how you are even this talkative since you haven't either.”  

Ali just pouts and HAO laughs. They finally  make their way to a small dinner, where they are seated and drink orders are taken.  

As soon as the coffee hits the back of Heathers throat Ali is back at it. “Ok you've had your coffee-“ 

She's cut off by HAO giving her the ‘one second’ gesture holding up her finger and takes another sip.  Ali is impatiently drumming her fingers on the table. Heather closes her eyes and  shallows the warm liquid, lets out a content sigh and opens her eyes, “you may processed.”  

Ali rolls her eyes at her friends antics, “Seriously Heather what if I'm reading the signs wrong? What if she doesn't like me like that?” Ali looks at her desperate for an answer. She was so sure that Ashlyn wanted to be more than friends, but after Ash just hugged her goodnight and made her go into her room, she was confused. 

“I mean, she can get any girl at a bar, just by blinking, why would she want to be tied down? Why would she give that up to date me?”  

“Ok. Stop. First, yes Ash could get any girl” Ali slumps in her chair, “but you, Alexandra Krieger, are not just any girl.” Ali looks up. “When is the last time Ash took a girl on a date?” 

Ali thinks about it, since they've met, she knows Ash has had a handful of one night stands. But never really gone on a date. Girls would give their numbers to her left and right but she's rarely contacted them. She had seen Ash blow off some of the most gorgeous looking girls, while sitting right next to her.  

“You are not just some girl to her Ali. Ashlyn would swim across the Atlantic. Hell the Pacific just to date you.”  

“Then why isn't she dating me?” Ali argued. 

“What do you call last night?” HAO countered. 

Ali groaned in frustration, HAO tries a different approach, “just, start from the beginning, what happened yesterday? we’ll dissect it together ok?” Ali nods her head, taking HAO to the 30th. 

> _Ali was nervous, like first day of the rest of your life, nervous. Sure she had been the calmer one when Ashlyn asked her on the date, but now that the blonde was going to be knocking on her door at any minute, she was freaking out._  
> 
>   _She does the one thing she always does when she's freaking out. Calls her big brother._  
> 
>   _"Hey B”_  
> 
> _“I can't do this Kyle”_  
> 
> _“Do what”_  
> 
> _“Go on this date… with Ash”_  
> 
> _“Oh that. For a second I thought you were talking about the date with the gorgeous, blonde you've been crazy about for the past.. oh let's say.. 4 years?”_  
> 
> _“Ugh Kyle! Be serious for 5 seconds would you!”_  
> 
> _“Ok, ok, calm down. Look you’ve seen the signs Alex. You've wanted to go on an actual date with her for a long time and it's happening lil sis.”_  
> 
> _“But I can't-“_  

“Can we skip to the date part of this.” Heather interrupted, Ali just glared at her, “never mind” 

>   _“Alexandra what did you promise me you'd do if Ashlyn asked you out?”_  
> 
> _“Kyyyyllle”_  
> 
> _“Answer me”_  
> 
> _“ thatidgiveitachance”_  
> 
> _“What was that?”_  
> 
> _“That I'd give it a chance”_  
> 
> _“A promise is a promise B, now shut up and put your big girl panties on… or none..  wait eww.. never mind.”_  
> 
> _“KLYLE!”_  
> 
> _“Right. Sorry. You are a Krieger! A mother fucking WARRIOR! Now put on your war paint and go get your girl!”_  
> 
> _Just then there was a knock on the door, “gotta go. Love you Kyle” Ali hung up before Kyle could say anything else._  
> 
> _She checked her make up, or ‘war paint’ as Kyle had said, took a deep breathe the steady herself (You're a Warrior Alex.) and opened the door._  
> 
> _“Well, you look cute”_  
> 
> _Ali was wearing a grey loose fitting vneck, dark blue jeans with her hair down. Ashlyn had said be comfortable. Ali had a beaming smile but it fell quickly when the woman in front of her was not Ashlyn._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are still with me. I'm sorry im such a horrible person and not updating.  
> Also I changed the time line a little bit. not to much that would throw you off. Any questions feel free to ask.
> 
> So I have a question. Does anybody write a fic and have like chs written out that are meant to be like way later in the story and it's killing you not to post them, even though it you know it will throw everything off??


	8. The Stars: Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What two chapters in one week??  
> So its 1:30 am PST and I have to wake up at 5 so naturally I decided to finish and post this.   
> Happy game day! Originally I was going to go to the game since I live like 2hrs away from SD but naturally my company decided to change our drill days from last weekend to this weekend.   
> any way here's part two hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Oh what other ships would you guys like to see? 
> 
> Lyrics in bold

“Nikki? Why did Nikki pick you up?” Heather questioned. “Did Ash Bail? I thought you said you had a great night?” 

Ali sighed and glared at her, “ are you gonna keep interrupting me?” HAO put her hands up in surrender and shook her head. 

 

> _“Ouch I know I'm not the one you want to see, but I w_ _as instructed to escort you to Ashlyn_ _.” Nikki was standing there with her hands behind her back and a smile on her face,_ _“ oh and_ _these are for you”_ _she hands_ _Ali a dozen blue roses._  
> 
> _They were the most beautiful roses Ali had ever seen, she took them fro_ _m Nikki_ _, instinctively bringing them to her nose_ _. They were real. (Where do you find real blue roses on such short notice?) she smiled at Nikki._  
> 
> _“Hi Nikki, I'm sorry. Just surprised is all” Nikki smiles and offers her arm to Ali, they walk down the hall to the stairs._  
> 
> _“I've also been instructed to blindfold you, but I'll wait till we get to the bottom of the stairs”_  
> 
> _Ali stopped in her tracks_ _, eyes widen at the statement_ _. Nikki laughs. After a little bit of coaxing from the fellow defender, Ali continues to the stairs and they began their decent to the lobby. Once they reached the bottom Nikki told Ali it was time to be blindfolded, she told her not to worry, that she wouldn’t let her fall or Ashlyn would kick her ass. Ali chuckled and allowed Nikki to blindfold her and guide her out of the stairwell._  
> 
> _Ali heard the automatic_ _glass doors open but couldn't really tell if it was the front or the back of the hotel. She was lead down a stone path, she could see solar lanterns through the bottom of the blindfold and she figured they were in the back area of the hotel._  
> 
> _Nikki stops and Ali is about to take off the blindfold when she feels a hand on her hand. It sen_ _ds shivers through her body_ _,_ _she knew it belonged to_ _Ashlyn._  
> 
> _"Not yet Princess" she teases, "Thanks Nikki, I'll take it from here." Ali hears Nikki say good luck and walk off. "Do you trust me?" She hears Ashlyn ask._  
> 
> _"Of course" Ali doesn't even hesitate to answer. Her heart rate increases 10 fold when she feels Ash put her hands on her hips, guiding her from behind a few feet forward. Ash take her hands away from her hips and to the blindfold to untie it._  
> 
> _When the blindfold comes down, Ali grins. Before her is a blanket laid out on the grass, candles on all four corners. A black Bluetooth speaker on top of it, a small red cooler next to it, with Champaign glasses on top, and a thermos on the side. To the left, much to her amazement, is a telescope_ _._  
> 
> _"Ash... How-" Ali just stands there, until Ash takes her hand and leads her to the blanket._  
> 
> _"Have a seat." Ali wordlessly complies, "The candles are fake, the hotel wouldn’t let me have real ones, something about safety hazard." they both laugh, "the glasses are for" Ash pulls out a bottle from the cooler, "the sparkling cider, since we aren't allowed to drink. Also we have ingredients to make Acai Bowls, with strawberries, bananas', granola and almonds. I didn't want us to break our nutrition plan too much." Ali giggles at that, "but I do have a slice of cheesecake we can share." she winks at Ali, who blushes, "the thermos has coffee incase we get cold... I figure we could listen to music while we looked at the moon and stars through the telescope..."_  

 

"Oh. My. God. That is adorable!" Heather states, "sorry. I just had to say something, continue." Ali just smiles and chuckles at the memory. 

 

> _Ali is still speechless but has her nose-crinkle grin on._  
> 
> _"um I know it's not much, but I didn’t want to go to a restaurant surrounded by people for our first date." Ashlyn says shyly, ducking her head a little bit._  
> 
> _"Ash, it's perfect." She replies smiling like a fool. "Wh- Where did you get a telescope from?"_  
> 
> _"um.. called in a favor, no biggie... I just have to remember to sign my jersey and give it to receptionist before we leave."_  
> 
> _They ate the food, sipped the cider, and talked about nothing and every thing at the same time. Laughing as they shared stories, much to both of their surprises, they hadn't told the other. Half way through the night Ali shivered, and Ashlyn gave her the jacket she had. They took turns looking through the telescope, well Ali did mostly, she had never seen the_ _moon this clo_ _se, and it_ _look so beautiful. Ashlyn just sat back and watched the girl of her dreams gazing at the_ _night_ _sky._  
> 
> _When they laid on their backs, their hands found each other, fingers caressing, entwined in the most intimate, yet innocent, way._  
> 
> _Suddenly two shooting stars shone across the sky, "quick make a wish, their was one for both of us" Ashlyn beamed._  
> 
> _(I wish I could call her mine) they both said in their minds._  
> 
> _After a few moments of silence Ashlyn asked, "What did you wish for?"_  
> 
> _"I cant tell you, then it wont come true" Ali said turning her head to Ashlyn._  
> 
> _Ash laughed and turned to Ali, "that's only for birthday wishes"_  
> 
> _Looking into each other eyes, "not uh, it's for all wishes" Ali smiles, "I'm not risking my wish"_  
> 
> _They lay in a comfortable silence, hands still together, smiling, eyes locked, minds at war with themselves to make a move._  
> 
> _The silence was broken by Ashlyn's phone, she sat up to check it, it was her alarm telling her curfew was soon. She exhaled, "It's almost curfew," she stood up and offered her hand to Ali, who had sat up. "I have to get you back to your room princess, before we get grounded from the game."_  
> 
> _Ali laughs and takes her hand, she gets effortlessly pulled to her feet by the keeper. Ashlyn packs up the stuff and runs the telescope inside to the front desk real quick. When she returns she grabs the bag of stuff and holds her hand out to Ali. They walk hand and hand up the four flights of stairs, stealing glances at each other, smiles never leaving their faces._  
> 
> _Ashlyn walked Ali to her room, even though_ _Ali protested because they pass_ _ed_ _Ashlyn's along the way. "We pass_ _ed your door, how come I can't walk you to your door"_  
> 
> _"Cause I want to make sure you get in your room safely" Ash said sincerely._    
>  _"But how will I know if you get in safely?"_  
> 
> _"Its four doors down what could happen"_  
> 
> _"apparently a lot since you have to walk me to mine" Ali sassed._  
> 
> _"don't start with me princess"_  
> 
> _"are you implying that I can not defend myself stud"_  
> 
> _They stop in front of Ali's door, hands still intertwined, "I know that you are capable of defending yourself, I just like to have the peace of mind that you are in fact safely inside." they turn to each other._  
> 
> _Ali with her back to the doo_ _r, "how do you know some one_ _isn’t_ _in my room waiting to kidnap me right now?" she says point behind her._  
> 
> _The blonde lets go of the right backs hand, Ali internally pouts, "do you want me to go in and check?" she says seriously. Ali chuckles and drops her head, when the keeper looks at her she sees the smile on her face and playfully glares at her. "haha, good one Krieger" she looks at her_ _watch, "I gotta go, before they_ _do a hallway check."_  
> 
> _Ali nods and steps towards Ashlyn. Ashlyn wraps her in a hug, lets her go and takes a step back, "time to go in" she says._  
> 
> _Ali is taken back, she kind of expected the night to end in a kiss, but when Ash continues to step backwards slowly she get the hint, "Goodnight Ash"_  
> 
> _Ashlyn motions for the door and Ali puts her key in to open it, she turns around to get one last look at the blonde._  
> 
> _"Goodnight Alex"_  

 

"Wow... ok' Heather is speechless, "I would have expected a kiss goodnight too." 

"See what I mean! I'm telling you I read into it wrong, some how.. "  

"No you didn't," she looks Ali in the eyes, "Ash probably wants to take it slow with you, you know do this right. No kissing on the first date type of deal. Because there is no way that wasn’t an actual date to her. She said it herself, she wanted to be alone with you on the first date, it's more intimate." 

Ali still wasn’t sure. It took a lot of convincing from HAO that Ashlyn wanted to be with her, she just didn’t want to mess things up. Some how HAO was able to break through to Ali that she read all the signs right.  

"Why don’t you ask her to be your girlfriend?" Heather questioned, "I mean, we all know you guys are gonna end up together, so why don’t you ask her" 

Ali tilted her head slightly, "you know what, I never thought about it..." 

"why wait around for her you to do it" Heather encouraged. 

"Yeah... yeah you're right why wait for her to make a move." 

"You are Alexandra freaking Krieger! You can take matters into your own hands!" 

"I'm Alexandra freaking Krieger! I'm  gonna do it! I'm gonna ask her out!” Ali proclaimed, she had new found courage, she wasn't gonna sit around and wait for Ash to make the first move. 

“Atta girl, now hurry up and finish eating, we have to get back to the hotel before they think I've kidnapped you to increase or chance of scoring.” HAO joked.  

They made their way back to the hotel discussing when Ali would take the big step. She felt ready. Empowered really to get her girl. 

\------------------ 

-July 9th 2014- 

Over a week had passed since their game in Boston, Ali was on edge. Even after her empowering talk with Heather, she ultimately decided to let Ash at least have a chance to take the reigns and ask her to be her girlfriend.  

They had gone on another date and Ashlyn still hadn't asked or even tried to kiss her, Ali was annoyed. She was pondering on ignoring the blonde until she womaned up but since they lived together, and she was madly in love with her, she couldn't bring herself to do it.  

It was a Wednesday morning, Ali was wide away at an ungodly hour for a day off. Ash and Ali had agreed to spend the day just hanging out and pack that night, they were scheduled to be in New York tomorrow for their game against the Flash on the 12th.  

The right back couldn't help but go for a run, she needed to clear her mind. She knew Ash wouldn't be up for another five hours, so she took the scenic route. As soon as she started to pace herself her mind went to the basics: left foot, right foot, breath in, breath out, head up, don't stop, repeat. What she loved so much about running was the feeling like nothing could touch you, even though in fact she knew something/someone could. It was liberating. She wasn't running away from anything or to anything in particular, and that was what helped clear her mind. By the time she found herself back home she knew exactly what she wanted. 

She took a shower, got dressed and went to the kitchen, a women on a mission.  

Ashlyn had walked into the kitchen in a zombie like state, the smell of coffee and bacon had woken her from the slumber. She didn’t even get dressed, instinct had taken over, her body moving with a purpose. That purpose being food and coffee.  

Ali had heard the keeper's feet shuffling across the tiled floor, and smirk. She handed Ash a coffee mug with out even looking up, "Good morning Stud," She heard her grunt and chuckled,  "breakfast should be done in a minute." the blonde hummed in approval. 

When Ali turned to look at Ashlyn she had to bite back a moan and her lip, there stood her keeper in boxer briefs and sports bra, sleepily reaching for the coffee pot. Her first thought was to just take her right then and there, breakfast be damned. Her second thought was to stop her before she burned herself with the coffee from still being more asleep than awake.  

Even with the half naked beauty before her, the latter of the two thoughts ultimately won as she reached for Ashlyn's hand to stop her from grabbing the pot wrong, "you should definitely wake up more before you try to pour or drink coffee." She mentally slaps herself at her next statement, "and probably go put some clothes on." 

Ashlyn pouts with her eyes closed, "coooffffeeeeee" her body once again moving on instinct, she puts her hands on the brunettes hips, pulling her closer to her own body. Ali's hands go to her shoulders. (best dream ever!) Ash's head hanging low, close to Ali's ear, "don wanna get dressed" her voice laced with sleep.  

Ali feels the breath in her ear and on her neck, sending lightening across her skin, igniting a fire within her. She lets out a shaky breath that hits Ashlyn's neck and she sees the goosebumps rise on her freckled skin. She tightens her grip on Ash's shoulders, as the blonde tightens her grip on the defenders hips. (wow this dream feels so realistic)  

Turning her head slightly to the defender, she parts her lips, eyes yet to open, "May I kiss you." Even in her dream like state of mind Ashlyn remains chivalrous. She feels Ali's whispered 'yes' reach her lips. Ashlyn leans in, Ali licks her lips, when their lips touch lightly Ashlyn realizes, she is in fact not dreaming. She's about to pull away to apologize profusely, but she feels Ali press into the kiss more, and she reciprocates.  

To say that time stood still at that moment, was the understatement of the century, because at that moment the universe ceased to exist at all. Their beating hearts became the only things in existence.  

Their lips moved slowly and flawlessly against each other, like they had shared a million kisses similar to this one before. So familiar with one another, that air didn't pose a problem for them.  

The only reason they separate, is because for some god forsaken reason, Ali remembers that she was cooking. She pulls away painfully slow from the blonde, hearing Ashlyn's 'wow', she taps her left shoulder, "you uh.. you should.. go put some clothes on … so we can eat." Ash nods not really knowing what else to do. Their hands glide off each others body, lingering as if to make sure that what just happened was real.  

Ali roboticly plates the food, Ash comes back in sweats and a sleeveless shirt. She watches the defender for a minute, with a new confidence flowing through her veins, she steps in front of Ali.  

**That July 9** **th**  

**The beat of your heart**  

**It jumps through your shirt**  

Ali pauses and her breathing hitches, her hands land on Ashlyn's chest, fists full of the blondes shirt. She can feel the strong rhythmic paces of Ash's heart, she unclenches the shirt, smoothens it out with the palms of her hands. She cautiously runs her hands to the top of the keepers defined shoulders, and lets them glide down her biceps, stopping to gather herself.  

Ashlyn feels the tenderness of Ali's touch when her hands first land on her chest, her own hands caress the brunette from her hips up the bottom of her breast. "I'd really like to kiss you again" she brings her left hand up to Ali's cheek and traces her bottom lip with her thumb.  

"On one condition," Ali's voice is low, and filled with passion. 

"Name it" She looks down at Ali, who's eyes are closed. 

Ali looks up, her caramel colored eyes meeting those beautiful hazel ones, "Be my girlfriend" 

She sees Ashlyn's one dimpled smile and she becomes a puddle of mush, making her knees go weak.  

Ashlyn's heart is beating out of her chest at Ali's statement, she captures the brunettes lips with a passion that she didn't even know she was compatible of expressing. Allowing herself to get lost in the moment before she withdraws. 

 "Anything for you Princess"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah like I said up top, any other ships you guys want to see? And of course what do you think, did I do Ali justice in asking Ash to be her gf? Did you like the date idea?


	9. Battle of The Keepers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the semifinal game things heat up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is 4,247 words on how incredibly sorry I'm for not updating for almost two months.   
> I kept having to redo this chapter, I couldn't finish it and now I hope I did it justice for how long it took.   
> hope you enjoy it.

~June 30th, 2015~

(continued from CH5 Family Part 2)

 

Carli saw her best friend hurry off, she knowingly followed her line of sight. (Shit.) She stayed close behind ready to intervene. Seeing Hope focused on getting to Ashlyn, Ashlyn focused on getting to Ali, and Ali headed for Hope. (You've got to be kidding me.)  

She watches as Ali throws herself into Hopes arms, she laughs at the fact that the defender has no idea that the two keepers are in a stare to the death at the moment. Carli grabs Kelley and HAO, "What ever happens keep Ali back," they look at her like she's crazy. She sees Ali let go and Hope approach a statuesque Ashlyn,  so she points to the two keepers. "Now go!"  

It registers to the Irish soul sisters, "oh shit" the say in unison and rush after Ali.  

Once KO and HAO reach Ali, the field around them grows quite as everyone notices the keepers stand off.  

- 

Carli gets closer when she sees Ashlyn take a step forward (Fuck) her eyes go wide when she hears the exchange.  

"Stay away from my girlfriend Solo" Ashlyn takes a step back and Carli lets out a breath. 

She hears Hope scoff,  "she's not your girlfriend anymore Harris" (Seriously! Fucking Solo!) 

Ashlyn stops, her eyes shoot up to Hope's, a wave of hurt and rage over take her. "I see she wasted no time in filling that position." she spits out. 

Hope shakes her head and can't help but laugh, "You're jealous?.....  seriously Harris," 

Ashlyn nods and grits her teeth, "Some friend you turned out to be" 

It's taking every inch of control not the knock some sense into Ashlyn right now. "You're a fucking idiot Ashlyn."  

The younger Keeper takes a step towards the veteran. Hope, not one to back down, takes a step as well. They are toe to toe, jaws clenched, eyes searing, hands in a fist.  

 "Don’t be stupid Harris, If you still love her walk away." Hope says as calmly as she can. Knowing Ali is still in love with the keeper, she doesn't want to get into a fight with her, but by God she will kick Ashlyn’s ass if she gets the chance.  

Something about the way Hope said it sets Ashlyn off and she pushes her with all her rage, "Fuck you Solo!" causing Hope to stager backwards but not fall. 

Instantly there's barricade of teammates around Hope that consist of Cap, Becky, Lauren, Alyssa, Abby, Tobin,  and Carli, they want to stop their keeper from retaliating and protect her at the same time.  

Ashlyn is blinded by her rage, her breathing is heavy, eye's are dark. This has only happened once before, a moment she is not proud of, a moment she pushed into the deepest corner of her memory.  

Whitney saw her best friends posture, along with the look in her eyes, knowing she has to stop what is about to happen. She steps in front of Ashlyn, "Walk away" she says making eye contact with the keeper. If she's being honest, she's scared as fuck, but she wont let it show. Whit was one track minded on not let anyone get hurt, Ashlyn included.  

The voice of her fellow Tarheel, her best friend, breaks through Ashlyn's fog. Just like it did last time. Ashlyn steps back as the realization of what could have happened hits her. She covers her mouth with her hand, swallows the lump in her throat, drops her hand " Whit...I- I-" she whispers. 

Looking over her shoulder, Whit notices Kling and Moe standing just behind her. She's repeats herself softly to her best friend, "Walk away Harris. Before something happens that we'll all regret."  

She looks back at Ashlyn, who has tears in her eyes, watching as the blonde nods and drops her head, "I'm sorry..." Ash whispers as she walks away.  

- 

Ali was too far away to hear what the two keepers were talking about. With Kelley and Heather holding her back she couldn’t get any closer, and she was pissed. She didn’t want anyone to get into a fight on her behalf, she just wanted to go back to her hotel and get some sleep.  

When she saw Ashlyn and Hope toe to toe, she held her breath (Don't be stupid guys). Ali looked at Ashlyn and saw her whole demeanor change, the look on Ashlyn's face sent a chill of fear through out her body. (I've never seen her like that)  She flinched when she  heard Ash scream 'fuck you Solo' and push Hope back. Before the brunette knew what was happening, she was surrounded by A-Rod, Syd, Pinoe, and Alex.   

Looking over she saw Hope also had a wall around her, with Boxxy, Lori, JJ, and Press standing between the two groups. She saw Whit step in front of Ashlyn, Kling to the right of her, being held back slightly by Moe. (if I wasn't freaking out right now, the sight of those two would be adorable.) 

She watched silently as Ashlyn's features changed to fear and guilt at what ever Whitney just said. As Ashlyn walked away Ali couldn’t help but feel for the blonde, but she quickly shook those feelings away.  

The tension slowly let up and everyone made their way to the locker room. Kling walked with Whit, she knew the defender was at war with herself on protecting her team and her best Friend, "You did the right thing Whit." But Whitney didn’t say anything she just shakes her head and keeps walking.  

Abby and Cap decided that that they would be the ones to take interviews. They strategically dodged the questions about the altercation, sticking to soccer talk and excusing themselves professionally back to their team mates.  

The locker room is almost as quite as it was before the game started, everyone still trying to process what just happened. Once everyone was showered and changed they head to the bus, signing a few autographs for the fans along the way.  

With everyone seated, the bus departures for the hotel. That's when Jill stands up, "What the HELL was that?!" The team looks up surprised and confused. She picks up her phone, "It's already made headlines 'BATTLE OF THE KEEPERS'  oh look at this one 'USWNT Take on  Former Teammate Ashlyn Harris After Game Ends' What the bloody hell were you thinking Solo!? Doing that on the pitch, in front of the media and more importantly the Fans! This is not the publicity we need going into the Final!"  

"Coach-" Carli tried defending their actions, but Jill cut her off.  

"No! No excuses. I get that we are all still upset with Ashlyn, but for the love of God that was uncalled for. " Hope kept her head down, surprising every one by not arguing with Jill. "Almost starting a fight on the pitch is unacceptable. I have half a mind to bench you Solo.  U.S. soccer is already considering suspending you for unprofessional behavior." 

Ali heard enough, she stands up and yells, "COACH!" Jill stops talking and looks at Ali surprised. "I get you're pissed but with all due respect-"  

Hope cuts her off, "Ali don’t, she's right." 

Not having any, Ali looks back at Hope "No she's not.." She looks back at Jill and continues, "You are not going to single out a member of this family in front of everyone. Want to talk about unprofessional behavior? Either chew us out as a team or chew us out individually in private. But I refuse to sit here and listen to you criticize Hope for trying to protect me." Ali took a breath, "I mean what would you prefer, Hope _talking_ to Ashlyn and getting pushed OR me _slapping_ Ashlyn or even punching her? Cause honestly that's what would have happened if she approached me." the bus was silent, " So actually'" she turns to the keeper.  "thank you Hope, you saved me from having assault charges against me." With that Ali sat down, Hope just shook her head at the defender and chuckled.   

Jill didn't know how to respond to the brunette, she knew she was in the wrong for blowing up like she did, but she didn’t know what to do. The team just won against German and instead of the win being praised, journalist spread the confrontation like wild fire.  

"You're right Krieger... And I'm truly sorry Hope. This story is being blown up and all your guys hard work is being over looked because of it. I am so proud you ladies, and it just kills me that you are not getting the praises you rightfully deserve. You showed the world what this family can do, stuck together and protected each other. We'll figure out the media situation later, and I'll fight against U.S. Soccer and FIFA if necessary to not suspend anyone." There wasn't much else Jill could say so she sat down. the rest of the ride was quite. Everyone thinking of the hell-of-a-day they just had.  

For some, though, it was far from over. 

\-------- 

Hope had told Ali, once they got back to the hotel, what she had said to Ashlyn. She Thanked Ali for stick up for her with Jill, but also apologized for being an instigator.  

"Hope really it's fine, I couldn't be mad at you. I'm glad you said something, since she has the nerve to call me her girlfriend still. I can't believe her." Ali shakes her head. "The audacity "  

They hear a knock on the door, Kelley gets up to check it. She opens the door to find a semi nervous looking Jill, "hey Coach... uh come in." She steps aside, but Jill stay outside, "Actually I just need to speak to Hope real quick."  

Hearing her name, Hope gets up and goes to the door, nodding for Kelley to go sit back down with HAO and Ali, she steps out of the room and looks at the British woman. "What's up Coach?" She asks unsure of the look on Jill's face.   

"Coach Neid contacted me," Jill pauses to read Hope's reactions, "Ashlyn requested to talk. She wants to personally apologize to you." She sees the slight clench of the keepers jaw,  "You can decline, I'm leaving it up to you, but I am not leaving you two alone in a room." 

Hope chuckles, "Understandable...." She thinks for a second, "Yeah. When?" 

"They are in the conference room 3 right now." 

"Ok just let me tell the girls" Hope replied and the coach nods, "I'll wait for you by the elevator" 

The keeper goes back into the room, and tells the trio. At first Kelley and Ali don't want her to go, knowing good and well that if either keeper says the wrong thing to the other, some one will end up with a blood on their knuckles.  

Hope reassures both of them that she wouldn't put herself in a position to get suspended again. Saying that U.S. Soccer would definitely have her kicked off the team, and they would want to hear that she was civil in settling things.  

They relented, but before Hope walked to the door,  Kelley warned the veteran that if she gets in any trouble she's not getting any for a month. Making Ali and HOA bust out in laughter at a wide eyed Hope Solo.  

Having yet to celebrate her girlfriends first international goal, the keeper huffs out a 'fine' and exits the room.  

\--- 

Right of the bat, Hope knows that Ashlyn's apology was forced, she's known the blonde long enough. From making direct eye contact, to the slight tilt in her head, she reads the signs, it's not a genuine apology,  but she just plays along to satisfy the coaches. 

Once everything was said, Hope and Jill stand up, walking to the door, Hope stops and turns to Jill. She has the most convincing look on her face, turning to the German coach as well. 

“Can you guys gives us a minute” Hope asked the two coaches. Watching as they share a look, “please” she insists.  

Ashlyn has yet to move from her seat, coach Neid stands and walks towards the door, Jill turns to her #1 goalkeeper and nods.  

"Thank You" 

As soon as the door closes Hope locks it.  

The younger keeper's head shoots up when she heard the lock engage, “What are you doing?” She questions.  

The stoic keeper turns to Ashlyn and crosses her arms, signature glare, and walks to the table. Ashlyn returns the glare, balling her hands into fist under the table.  

Hope places her hands on the table, gripping the edge, leaning forward, "You're full of it." The blonde doesn't move a muscle, "Now that they are gone. Say what you really want to say to me Harris." 

"I have nothing to say to you" Ashlyn replies and it pisses of Hope that she sounds hurt. Like some how Hope betrayed her.  

Hope scoffs, "Bullshit." She pushes off the table, throwing her hands in the air, "But what ever Ash, play the victim. Cause that's differently going to get you Ali back."  

Ashlyn jumps out of her chair, causing it to fall backwards and slams her fist on the table, "DON'T YOU DARE- I TRUSTED YOU! And you just stab me in the back! " 

"I stabbed you in the back? Oh that's rich Harris-" 

"Don't stand there and pretend like you don't know  what I'm talking about! I came to you when I needed advice involving her. You were like a sister to me!" She looks Hope dead in the eye's " I seen the way she was looking at you after the game," Hope furrows her brows, as Ash continues, " all the twitter and Instagram post, how you guys have magically become roommates since I left."  

During the younger keepers rant, It sinks in, Hope suddenly realizes how it could look to anyone on the outside, how the relationship she's built with Ali could be easily misconstrued.  

 Noting the 'oh shit' expression on Hope's face, Ashlyn stands up straight and puts her hands on her chest, "I'm not a fucking Idiot Solo!" 

"We're not dat -" 

"DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME!" Ash leans forward as she yells.  

Hope slams her hands on the table now, "YOU LEFT HER!" She screams at the keeper, " You weren't there Ashlyn! You didn't literally have to pick her up off the ground, when she found out you were gone!" The blonde stands straight up again. "You didn't see her call your phone for two weeks straight! Crying herself to sleep every night,  a piece of her crumble every time YOU didn't answer! I was trying to keep her alive-" 

"and you just swooped right in... her knight in shinning armor." Ashlyn spews out. "You know, I stood up for you. I told Kelley she should give you another chance, boy was I wrong" Hope glares at the blonde, knowing she struck a nerve Ashlyn continues, "You never deserved her and you sure as hell don't deserve Ali" 

Hope was losing her will power and patience with the blonde, she dropped her head and let out and exhausted sigh. When she looked back up Ashlyn had her arms crossed, staring Hope down, giving her a run for her money in the bitch face department.  

Any other time before anyone who spoke like that to Hope Solo, would have been on the floor bleeding already, but Hope was a different person now.  

The brunette shook her head at her former team mate, this was not how she wanted this conversation to playout, she had wanted to use tough love to get through to Ashlyn. But with The younger keeper so  set on the idea that her and Ali were together, there was no reaching her. Her plan backfired.  

"You know what? Fuck it."  

Ashlyn clenched her jaw, she was sure the keeper was going to admit that her and Ali were dating, but she knew she wasn’t ready to hear it.  

She saw Hope push herself off the table and turn to walk away. "Don't you turn your back on me Solo!" She demanded. 

Hope stopped, she took in a deep breath, turned her head to look over her shoulder at her former team mate. Looking Ashlyn up and down, she faced forward and continued to walk to the door, leaving Ashlyn to yell after her, "SOLO!"  

With out another word, Hope walked out of the room, she felt defeated, she really wanted to make things right between her and Ashlyn, for the sake of Ali. ( Fuck Ashlyn why do you have to be so thick headed) 

\----- 

Ashlyn was furious. She felt that Hope was just playing games with her, she wasn't stupid, she saw the signs. Hope was always her room mate when they went to camps after January, she saw the proof all over the internet. Ali hadn't posted anything in 3 months, then she posted about a storm and tagging Hope in it. 

Ashlyn remembered that day vividly.  

> _The blonde had just finished a three a day_ _w_ _ith the Germany_ _National team, since they opted out of the_ _A_ _lgarv_ _e_ _cup to prepare for the Worl_ _d Cup._  
> 
> _Since she had_ _turned off her service  and disabled_ _iMessages_ _,_ _she kept her phone at home_ _only using_ _wifi_ _. She had been keeping tabs_ _on her_ _friends, after she saw that Ali hadn't updated. Using every form of social media to get details about the defender. Something was_ _always posted with or about Ali_ _, but never from her_ _._  
> 
> _She grabbed her phone_ _from the bed side table, and t_ _hat’s when she saw the Twitter notification_ _s._  
> 
> _{_ _@_ _akrieger_ _: I used to love the sound of the rain, now it's just noise_ _keeping me awake._ _March 8_ _th_ _, 2015_ _2:43_ _am_ _}_  
> 
> _The first one hurt, the blonde recalled all the memories_ _her and Ali had_ _in the rain. From the time she picked_ _up the defender_ _at the airport, to a week before camp when they_ _were in FL and suddenly got rained on. Ali always said she loved the sound of the rain, and now she said she hated it._  
> 
> _Ashlyn couldn't help but_ _feel like it was meant for her_ _._ _T_ _hat she was the rain that Ali_ _hated, th_ _e rain_ _th_ _at was keeping her up at night._ _She felt_ _the ache deep in her soul,_ _some how willing herself_ _to look at the other notification._  
> 
> _{_ _@_ _akrieger_ _:  @_ _hopesolo_ _“the storm will pass” you were right, thanks roomie <3\. 7:28am_ _}_  
> 
> _The first one hurt, but the second one... the second one wounded her. Thoughts of her defender and the_ _ve_ _teran_ _keeper penetrated her mind, like being stabbed over and over again. In a way that's not meant to kill you, but make you suffer, slowly, painfully, and_ _consistentl_ _y_ _._  
> 
> _She clicked on Hope's name, leading her to look at a few post the keeper had made since January._  
> 
> _{ @_ _hopesolo_ _: "She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her away, she adjusted her sails."- E. Edwards March 8_ _th_ _, 2015 6:49am_  
> 
> _@_ _hopesolo_ _: "Sometimes you have to break down, before you can build yourself up again" March 4_ _th_ _, 2015 11:27pm_  
> 
> _@_ _hopesolo_ _:_ _I know I'll look back on these days and laugh, because_ _these are the_ _random memories that make you smile, no matter what's going on in your life. Look forward to making more._ _February_ _10th_ _, 2015 1:52 am_  
> 
> _@_ _hopesolo_ _: " I will be_ _a heart that will love you at your worst and arms that will hold you at your weakest." January 20_ _th_ _, 2015 11:54pm }_  
> 
> _The blonde threw her phone, shattering the screen, she lost Ali_. 

Ashlyn had known that January 20th was the last day of the camp. After hearing Hope say she pick up Ali and was there for her, the younger keeper knew the tweets were all about the defender. Her suspicions were confirmed but Hope didn’t have the guts to admit it. ( What a coward!) 

In all her frustration, she flips over the nearest table. "You done?"  a familiar voice echoes through the room. Ashlyn freezes, blood rushing from her face, like she just saw a ghost,. She hadn't heard the door open and nor did she expect to hear the voice of her former teammate.  

"well?" The voice asks, Ashlyn exhales and swallows the lump in her throat before she turns around to face her.  

"How did you know-" Ashlyn starts but her voice fades, tears threatening to escape, she has yet to look the person in the eyes.  

"Hope said you were going to apologize. Personally, I wanted to hear what you had to say too ... " 

The blonde closes her eyes, "I'm sorry... " she whispers out as she opens them, looking into the eyes that she would often seek refuge in. 

"Yeah, you've said that already... I want to know why Ashlyn." 

Ashlyn shakes her head, "I can't.." Letting a few tears go, not wiping them away. 

"...You, can't …" she replies with hurt in her voice. 

"You wouldn't understand" Ash says. 

"then explain it to me!"  

Ashlyn cringes as her former teammate raises her voice, watching as she runs her hand through her hair in attempt to calm herself down. Ash knows she doesn't raise her voice very often,  

"Help me understand Ash" she says calmly.  

A sad smile comes to Ashlyn's face when she hears the nickname she hadn't me called in months, "I was scared Whit," her voice cracks, more tears make their way down her cheeks, and sobs beginning to shake her body. 

Whitney closes the distance and wraps her best friend in her arms. She's still hurt, she still wants her explanation, but right now her sister is broken, right now Whitney is going to hold Ashlyn until she's ready.  

"I don’t deserve your friendship"  

"No, you don't." Whit chuckles, before she gets serious again, "but you're my sister remember, and we made a promise to have each others backs. No matter what stupid things we get ourselves into."  

"I don't expect you to forgive me, but for what it's worth, I'm so sorry for you hurting you." 

"Oh trust me you're not forgive just yet, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to be here for you." 

Ashlyn nods her head in understanding, she really didn’t think Whitney or anyone for that matter would seek her out. She knows she owes her best friend an explanation, she owes the whole team one.  

"She hates me, doesn't she?"  

Whit knew it was a matter of seconds before Ash brought up Ali, she tightens her grip around the blonde. "She doesn't hate you Ash." 

"You know what today is?" She cokes out.  

"Yeah … I know" 

\--------- 

Heather laid on her back in the hotel room she shared with Ali, the tv on low an episode of Grey's Anatomy on. Heather laid their awake, waiting until she could hear the soft snore of the defender. 

After a few minutes, she heard the low sniffles coming from the brunettes bed. 

She got up and made her way to Ali. When she got to the bed she gently turned the right back, opening her arms to her.  

Ali welcomed the embrace, burying her face into HAO's shoulder, letting her tears fall.  

"To- Today-" Ali's voice kept breaking. 

"I know sweetie, I know" HAO reassured her, She remembered how excited Ali had been a year ago to go on the official first date.  

"if you would have told me that day, that a year later, I would be crying cause she broke my heart. I would have thought you had gone mad." 

It was quite enough for them to hear the scene on the tv unfold, "you didn't love her. Because you don't destroy the person that you love!"  

Not knowing what to say, HAO squeezes Ali closer as the defender cries harder than she has in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Sorry again. Been busy with school, family, and the military. I am not giving up on this story but my updates might be spaced out. if you stick around thank you. 
> 
> Also what do you guys what to see next?   
> I'm not sure where to take it from here, I have other chapters written but they are later in the time line and can't just throw them out there you know.
> 
> (ps I will probably change the title I dont like it lol)


	10. PSA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a Public Service Announcement.

Hey Gals/Guys 

I am sooooo very sorry everyone. I know its been months and I haven't updated. Things have been hectic on my end, like crazy, stupid, hectic.

I am working on the two different Chapters right now and I'm debating which one try to finish to get up. I don't want to do them half assed, but I just haven't been able to write. Having the worst writers block ever the past couple months. Shit seriously hit the fan lately, and it became to real to write it out at the moment. 

If you guys are curious I'll fill you in later.

But this is just an update to let you know I've been thinking about y'all and getting the next chapter out. I am doing my best but like I said it's been crazy. 

I AM NOT GIVING UP THE STORY!! 

I promise you I will finish this thing, I just need you guys to be patient. I've read your comments and I'm not going to reply to all of them until I can post a CH. 

Thank you gals/guys for sticking around. 

Sincerely Yours,

MCMXC

PS. you can thank Jay and Batoutofhellmadness for this PSA 

next ch will either be:

Ali a few days before she returns to the Spirit (after all the wwc celebrating)

or

Ashlyn's background on the dark times. 

Stay cool this summer and remember to drink plenty of water!! 

This concludes your Public Service Announcement.


	11. Alone (The Darkness)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking about you all, and I'm sorry it took so long. 
> 
> Honestly wasn't gonna finish this chapter or the story really. After I posted the PSA shit got really bad, but here it is. 
> 
> *trigger warnings: violence, verbal abuse, death* 
> 
> Hope you gals/guys are doing well.   
> P.s. Wrote and posted on a phone (boy was that annoying) so yeah, sorry.

Ashlyn was on top of the world. Things were finally looking up. She was playing the game she loved, at the school she wanted, as number One keeper.

Freshman year had been good for her.

She met her best friend, who has stuck with her through thick and thin. Even though everyone else thought they would not get along, they became sisters.  
She could be whoever the hell she wanted to be now.

Ashlyn had always been a tomboy, playing sports, rough housing with Chris. It's who she was, but never felt like she could truly be. 

That was until she came to UNC. 

She found herself.

No longer afraid to be who she had always wanted, not the image that was created for her.

Her mom had always wanted a princess; one who would meet her knight in shining armor and all that jazz.

That was never Ashlyn, nor did she live up to it. She had wanted to be the Knight, she wanted to save the girl. 

Though she didn't figure that out until she, quit literally, saved a girl while walking to her dorm late one night.

She heard a women's voice telling someone off, as she was getting close to the corner of a building. 

Thinking it was just a lovers spat, she paid no mind; until she heard a yell, sounding frantic, followed by silence. 

Ashlyn darted around the corner to find a man towering over a women, in the darkness, she saw as he was about to reach down towards her.

The keeper acted quick, running full speed at the guy, hitting him like a fright train, tackling him to floor. 

After a bit of a scuffle, she managed to knock out the guy, taking off her flannel and using it as improvised rope to restrain him. 

The blonde turns in the direction of the women, to find a brunette pushing herself off the ground. 

The brunette brings her hand up to her face, touching her lip to find it was busted. 

Ashlyn slowly approached the women stopping a few feet in front of her and squats down, " you ok?" She internally cringes when the women flinches away from her. 

Their eyes met and Ash puts her hands up, "I'm sorry... didn't mean to scare you." She moves to the side and points to the man, who's still passed out, " I restrained him, do you want me to call campus security?"

The brunette looks to the man then back at Ashlyn, after a few times, she finally shakes her head no. 

"Are you sure?" 

" yea.. yeah I'm fine." The woman says, looking around to see if anyone else saw what just unfolded (holy shit, what could have happened if this girl didn't show-) . Ashlyn's voice snaps her out of her thoughts. 

"Can I walk you to, where ever it is you're going? " the blonde asks. She notices the skeptical look on women's face, and she puts one knee on the ground. She pulls out her wallet slowly, making sure the brunette can see her movements. 

Taking out her school ID she hands it to the women, "my name is Ashlyn Harris, I just want to make sure you get home safe, nothing else. you can hold onto my ID and turn it into security after you get into your building or room. Or you can call a friend or someone to come pick you up, and I'll leave. But I really do not want to leave you alone, in the darkness. Wondering if you are going to be ok." 

The brunette looks at the ID and into Ashlyn's eyes, she can tell the blonde is being genuine. She hands the card back to Ashlyn, " I trust you Ashlyn Harris," she holds her hand out. "I'm Bianca, Bianca Romero."

She felt empowered, a protecter, and now like she was in charge of her own life, her own fate.

As fate would have it two weeks later, said girl was in 3 out of 5 of her classes. 

After the second class was over, she approached the brunette, and a coffee date was set.

Minutes turned to hours and days into weeks. strangers turned to friend, and feelings into a relationship.

  
\---

  
Everything was going great.

And for Ashlyn Harris, when things are going great, something is bound to go wrong. 

No, things are bound to go horribly wrong.

So when she receives a letter from her Dad halfway through sophomore year, she was hesitant to open it. Mainly considering she hasn't spoken to him since she was a freshman in high school, she had seen him on the streets, and well, things did not go that great.

The next day, her curiosity gets the best of her, and that's when the first bomb drops.

Her mom died. 

The women who gave her life, no longer had one, due to a car accident. 

She died. 

Alone, died alone, she didn't have a new family, which honestly surprised the blonde. 

She hadn't heard from her mom since she left one day and never came back. 

It rattled her brain, as to why she feels so strongly about it, but at the same time she could careless. 

Her mom had abandoned her and Chris, never made amends, never tried to see them. 

So why? Why did Ashlyn feel like she had to go say goodbye to a face she doesn’t really remember? To pay respect to someone who couldn’t have given a damn to check on them from time to time. (I don’t owe her anything)

  
\--

  
Yet, some how she ends up on a plane headed back to Florida.

When Chris picks her up from the airport they get into an argument. 

“We don't owe her shit Ash, she left us remember!” Chris says with a bite. 

Ashlyn just shakes her head, “I need to do this for me, say goodbye to a ghost.” She pauses and let's out a sigh, “I need the closure..”

Chris glances at his little sister and knows she's right, but that's doesn't mean he's going too, especially if there a chance of seeing their fath-. (Wait how did she even know..)

“How… How did you know about her?” He’s hesitant to ask, he has an idea, but prayed to every God in the world that he was wrong.. He watches out of the corner of his eye, how Ashlyn sinks into the passenger seat. 

“Dad wrote me ..” She whispers.

Chris slams on the brakes of his beat up jeep and swerves off the road. He throws it into park, unbuckled his belt and turns to Ashlyn. His face is stoic, eyes unreadable as he looks into the keepers, “No.” He says as he shakes his head, “ you're not going.” 

“Chris, I'm goi-“

“There's no FUCKING way I'm letting you go any where near that prick!” He yells, “ Ash… H.. He's.. No. I'm not letting you go to that funeral, fuck that family! They have never been there for us!”

“Bubba please,” she pleads with her brother, “ I have to..” the tears start to fall and Chris knows it means that much to her. (Fuck) He pulls Ashly into a hug and they just stay there for a few more minutes. ( I'm not letting her go… Alone)

  
\-----

  
They go to the viewing.

When Ashlyn walks up to the casket, memories of her face flood her mind and it all becomes to much. She closes her eyes willing the storm away, then she feels Chris tense, and protectively wrap his arm around her shoulders.

(He's here)

She looks to her right and that's when she sees her dad. He's wearing a suit much to the siblings surprise, he just looks at them like they were the scum of the universe. Glaring with so much hatred that Ashlyn shrinks into her big brothers protections.

They decide to skip the burial. 

\-------

The next day, Chris takes Grams to Orlando for a doctors appointment, while Ash stays back to pack a few things to take to UNC with her. 

They wouldn’t be back to see her off so she calls a shuttle. When she hears a knock on the door, thinking it's the shuttle, she opens it without a second thought. 

"Hi, Just need-"

That's how she became face to face with her Dad, he was drunk, she could smell the alcohol on his breath (of course) 

She stands there shocked, as he starts to go off on her, she knows she should shut the door and call the cops, but she feels brave enough to handle this (I'm not a scared little girl anymore)

He spews hate with his words, blames her for everything that had gone wrong in his life. She ignores him, as she had learned to do through out the years, and he gets so angry. 

She should have seen it coming, standing in front of her drunken excuse of a father. 

She should have listened as every thought in her mind was ‘get away from him’.

She wanted to be brave, she should have seen it coming. 

But she didn't see it. 

She didn't see how his jaw clenched, she didn't see how tense his body got. 

She definitely didn't see when both his knuckles turned white as he made a fist. 

Her lack of attention to these details results in a busted lip, and her dad leaving like nothing happened. (Go fucking figure)

She gets on an early flight back to UNC, vowing to steer clear of her father from here on out. (Never needed him anyway)

She texts Grams and Chris that she arrived at the airport, and boards the plane.

\----

She gets off the plane, finds her luggage, and heads out to find Whitney waiting on the curb. 

She almost forgot about the busted lip, the pain subsiding on the flight due to her numbness to the world, that when Whitney all but yells at her for it, she looks at her confused.

“What?” She replies.

“Your lip Ash! What happened?!” Whitney asks, trying not to lose her cool at the thought of her best friend getting punched.

“Oh” Ashlyn touches her lip and hisses ( dummy) “I was getting my board down from the garage and it slipped.. Busted my lip… I'm fine.”

"Bull... Ash what happened?" She doesn't let up. After staring at the keeper for a minute she realizes she doesn't even know why she went to Florida on such short notice. 

"It's the truth, can we go now? I'm tired" The keeper states as she opens the passenger door and gets in.

Whitney shakes her head and walks to the driver side and gets in. Ashlyn never really talked about her parents, just her grandma and on occasion her brother, but Whitney remembers she heard Ashlyn say ‘Mom’ when she got that letter last week. 

"Other than that, how was your trip?” She pauses for a second, “you were in such a hurry to go, you never had a chance to talk about it.” Whit knows she might be pushing her luck, but she had to try. She knows Ashlyn isn't telling her something important.

"It was whatever. The surfing sucked, so I got this for nothing.” She replied pointing to her lip. 

“How's everyone back home?” Whit tried again, she keeps her eyes focused ahead on the road. 

Ashlyn turned to look out the passenger window, she was quite for a second before replying almost in a whisper, “They're fine.” 

Whitney almost didn't hear her, she chances a look, noticing the far away look on Ashlyn’s face as the keeper reaches into her pocket and mindlessly turns on her phone, Whit decided to let it go. 

Ashlyn is jolted out of her thoughts by her phone vibrating. 10 texted and 23 missed calls, and her phone starts ringing again in her hand. 

Whitney hears it vibrate and looks at Ashlyn’s phone, she sees the picture of her girlfriend Bianca. She looks up at Ash who just shrugs and silences the phone.  
Whit knew something was wrong, she just didn't want to upset her best friend, so she minds her business, for now.

\--

The next day Ashlyn goes to the gym and starts working the punching bag, to let out steam from the trip. She's smart about it though. She is, after all, a goal keeper. 

Doing anything to jeopardize that at this point, is beyond reckless. Ash wasn’t about to mess that up, so she wraps her hands, puts the gloves on and let's the music play. 

Slowly the blonde feels the stress slip away, and it's like she never went back to Florida, never got that letter about her mom, never saw her dad.

She calls Bianca back and apologies, making up something about her grandmas dog and her grandma needed her home with her. Bianca knows it's bs, but she gives Ashlyn a break, hoping she'll talk when she's ready.

\----

Three months pass without a hitch, that is until after a tournament, she gets a call from her counselor with an important message from a Florida hospital.

Ashlyn was in her dorm staring at the piece of paper she was handed 3 hours ago. She had yet to call the Florida number written across it in blue, with RN Lisa Casey written below it.

She knew in the back of her mind it was about her Dad. Chris would have called her cell if it were about Grams, or vise versa. 

She dials the number, and waits as it rings, ( hang up Ashlyn, this is stupid) she's about to hang up when it connects.

"Lisa Casey, how can I help you?" 

Ashlyn freezes for a second, "uhhh hi Ms. Casey, I was told to contact you?"

It was quite for a minute, " is this- Ashlyn? Ashlyn Harris?" 

"Y-yes" 

"I didn't think, you'd call." The RN replies.

Ashlyn just wants to get this over with, " what's this about Ms. Casey?" 

"Right, right... you might want to be sitting down for this."

The RN goes on to tell her how her father came in one day, throwing up blood. How over the weeks it progressed, happened more frequent, nothing was gonna stop it.

She tells Ashlyn that her name came up during a conversation she had with her father. What that conversation was Ashlyn will never know. 

Her Dad has liver cancer. 

He's had it for years apparently, the progression of the disease had taken the doctors by surprise.

The doctors give him three weeks. 

Ashlyn doesn't hesitate, she's on the next flight after her finals. She tells everyone at UNC that's she's going back home for break, while she tells Grams and Chris that she's staying up there.

\------

He's in worse shape then Ashlyn expected, he becomes delirious as his liver pushes out chemicals that can not be processed. 

Leaving him to forget, to become someone else, as his ammonia levels increase dangerously.

Ashlyn waits on the other side of the curtain each day that passes, waiting to see what version of her father she'll get. 

Most days he's to tired to realize who she is. Some days he believes that they've never met. 

They talk for hours about Ashlyn going to college, playing soccer, and her girlfriend. 

Those are the days that Ashlyn loves the most, talking to him like there is no past between them.

But today, Ms. Lisa sees her approaching, "he asked for you" she says with a smile. 

Ashlyn just smiles back, Lisa continues, " he asked for his daughter... Ashlyn"

She stops in her tracks (he's asking for me) her heart rate increases as so many more thoughts go through her head. ( this could end bad, how does he know I'm here..) "just go in Ashlyn, it'll be ok" 

Ashlyn looks at the door, takes a deep breathe and turns the handle.

As soon as she comes in, she hears, "is that you kiddo?"

She stops behind the curtain, her eyes watering, ( there's no way he's happy to see me) the blonde takes a chance and opens the curtain, her dad laying there with a smile on his face when their eyes meet.

"There's my strong little girl. I missed you so much sweetheart."

“I've missed you too dad.” Tears threatening to escape as her dad reaches his arms out to her. The keeper rushed into her fathers arms, basking in the warm embrace she hadn't felt since before her mom left them. “I’m so sorry dad, I did-“

“Shhhh no, no. It wasn't your fault, don't cry kiddo.” She pulls back and he wipes the tears away, “she'll come around, you'll see." Ashlyn looks into his eyes, ( she's gone dad) she wants to say, but he puts his hand up, "I love you and so does she ok, don't ever forget that," he kisses the top of her heard, "I'm so proud of you hunny, and the women you've become." 

They hug for a little while longer, the blonde just taking it all in. 

Nothing else matters right now, thought it should concern her, that her dad thinks her mom is still alive.

Right now it doesn't matter, cause in his eyes, she's still daddy's little girl. 

Right now she's experiencing the love of her father.

Right now the world is right. 

\-----

Some time later, her dad had fallen asleep, she goes to her hotel to shower and get food. Giving herself some time to process the time with her dad.

When she comes back an hour later, things take a turn for the worst. When she opens the curtain this time, she greeted with them man she knew after her mother left. The man with no kindness left in his heart. 

He sees her and yells at her for being there, blaming her for her mom leaving.

Saying she's worthless and doesn't deserve to be happy. Going on and on.

Ashlyn just takes it, not saying a word. 

She's sure she's deserves this. She deserves every word that comes out of his mouth, no mater how much it fucks her up mentally, she listens to it all.

\---

The next day when Ashlyn arrives, after debating with herself on wether or not she should show up. 

She stands behind the curtain once again, only to hear his shallow breathing, she can hear the liquid that's been building up in his lungs since last week. 

The blonde feels her chest tighten, she knows he's time is nearly up. 

She walks out to the hall, the nurses saying he hasn't spoken a word since she left last night, not expecting him to make it through the day. 

She takes a chance, walking back in (maybe he won't remember), drawing the curtain back. 

She wasn't ready. 

Her eyes begin to water as she takes in the scene before her. 

The bed in a half up position, her father laying there, arms at his sides, palms up, head tilted to the left, mouth slightly agape. 

She sit down next to him and watches as the life drains from his half opened eyes. 

She puts her hand in his, feeling how cold and stiff they've become, the nurse explaining that blood is no longer flowing to his extremities. 

His body is just a shell now, a slow heartbeat and hollow breaths, waiting for his mind to stop sending the signal that keeps his heart beating.

Once his last breath leaves his body, she feels her own chest constrict. Then unexpectedly, all the fluid build up from his lunges comes pouring out of his mouth.

It's a sight that will haunt her for years to come. 

She doesn't cry, not in front of everyone.

She leaves, walks out the door in a haze, finding herself in the door way of her hotel room.

She decides that night to go back to UNC, every trace of her at the hospital gone. The words of her father eating away at her soul, her heart. 

\------  
When she gets back to UNC her trips to the gym become more frequent like everyday for a week, still keeping her career in mind she wraps her hands.

Whit notices the change in Ashlyn, and her trips to the punching bag late at night.

She keeps an eye on her trying to figure out when and how to intervene, the keeper hadn't said much about her trips to Florida 

\----

Ash throws her bag on the ground, she just broke up with Bianca, (you don't deserve to happy Ashlyn) the words of her father still burrowing into her soul. (That's why I let her go, asshole)

She connects her iPod with the aux cord, clicks play, walks over to the corner of the room that's become her home.

She's pacing back and forth by the punching bag, music blaring from the stereo. The words swirling around dangerously in her mind. 

She can't do this anymore, there's nothing left to hold onto, as the darkness consumes her soul. (You should have never been born) She takes the first shot at the bag, wraps be damned. 

Left, right, (it’s all your fault Ashlyn)  
Jab, jab, cross, jab (she left cause of you.)  
Side kick (she wanted a princess, and she got stuck with you) 

She drops her head, hands going to the back of her head, clenched so tightly as if trying contain herself, trying to shut out the words. She's hunched over. 

It doesn't work, as the conversation plays back in her mind, her breathing become ragged, she begins to shake. 

Whitney, having received a text from Bianca about the breakup, knew exactly where to find the keeper. She had to get to Ashlyn, get her to talk about what's been going on with her. When Whit enters the room, she spots Ashlyn, she about to call her name but stops in her tracks. 

As if a flip switched, Ashlyn snaps up going hard at the bag giving it everything she's got. (You don't deserve to be happy. When you think everything is going great, you'll find a way to fuck it up. Because that's what you do, you fuck everything up. You're a fuck up Ashlyn. A disgrace to this family. if nothing happens while you're happy, I'll be on the other side to make it so that your life will come crashing down. You don't deserve to happy after everything you've put me and your mom through. No one will ever love you, they'll just pity you. And you'll hurt them, you'll fuck it up. I'll take the love of your life away, I swear on my grave!) 

Whit is stuck in her place as Ashlyn beats the crap out of the punching bag.

Shocked at the outburst coming from her best friend. She hears the chain squeak and clang as it breaks from the hook, the thud of the bag as it hit the floor, and she snaps out of it. 

She rushes over to Ashlyn, as the blonde lands a few punches on the wall where the bag used to be. She grabs Ash by the arm and jerks her around.

The keeper couldn't see who or what caused her to change directions, blinded by the rage coursing through her body. Ashlyn just swings when she is spun around. 

Whitney steps back as fast as she can, but it's not enough, Ash manages to connect with her lip. It's not the full force of the blow but she can already taste the metallic warmth of her blood, to know her lip is split open. 

Whitney takes a few more steps back and puts her arms up, knowing this is not her best friend, she needs to protect herself but get through to her somehow.

Ash stumbles, but turns to Whitney to take another swing, she’s about to advance when she hears her name, “Ashlyn."

As though the switch were turned off, the keepers motions halt, her arm drops and her body becomes tense. 

With her heart racing, Whitney lowers her fist looking at the keeper, she sees the darkness in her best fiends eyes lighten just a bit. She knows the demon within is still there, but she can see

Ashlyn is trying to come back.

Ashlyn stands there still dazed, unable to move. Fighting her inner battle, putting the darkness at bay, tears begin to flow freely. 

Both of them to scared to move. 

Whitney sees the tears and slowly moves toward Ashlyn. The defender raises her hands, "it's ok" she whispers, slowly stepping to the side. She puts her right arm over Ashlyn's arms and chest, completely stepping behind her now, bringing her left arm around the other side. 

She locks her arms securely around the other blonde, holding her as tight as she can, " I'm not gonna hurt you," she says.

The keeper, whose body is too exhausted to fight back, allows herself be guided backwards with Whit. The defender steps back till she touches the wall and slides them both down. Ashlyn's body cooperating with hers. 

She holds her there until she feels Ash's body relax and hears her sobbing.  
“It's ok Ash… You're ok” Whitney coos, “it's ok … Just breathe”

\---

June 30th, 2015

“So that's why..” Whitney replies, finding themselves in a similar position with Ash wrapped in her arms. Except this time Whit understands, it's boggling as to why, after all these years, Ashlyn lets the words of her good-for-nothing father haunt her. 

She had never heard the full story of the two Florida trips, just vague details about both her parents passing away with in months. How Ashlyn never got the chance to have a family and it pushed her over the edge, though she didn't believe it then, it all makes sense now.

“ that's all I hear Whit… is his voice in the back of my head, telling me I'm not good enough.” The keepers voice breaks, “ when she was wrapped in my arms that night… I- I was gonna stay… I wasn't going to leave her. I told her I loved her and she actually said it back, I saw our future.” She smiles at the thought, but as soon as it came, it's gone. “but all I heard was my Dad.” She breaks into a sob, “h-he- his voice telling me that I don't deserve love, I took his love away and he'd make sure to take mine.”

Her voice now breaking with anger,“ I couldn't just lay there and wait for her to be taken away from me, I had to protect her… from- from me. He was gonna find a way, I- couldn't-“ the keepers body begins to tense as the memory of leaving Ali that morning floods her senses. 

A _li’s whispered “I love you too Ash”_  
The last kiss she left on the brunettes lips  


_Watching her sleep peacefully  
_

_Her fathers promise to take her love away  
_

_Getting dressed, grabbing her bag  
_

_The pause before she opened the door  
_

_Looking back at the beautiful women she was in love with  
_

_The tiny click as the door shut behind her  
_

_Sealing her decision, her fate._

She's brought back to the present by Whitney, "Ash… I get it, I really do, but … that doesn't explain why… you just left.” Whitney says, “left… the .. team.. the fucking country. You couldn't just- ” 

“stay here? Where I would be constantly reminded of my fuck up? And have to live with the pain of leaving her, torture her with my presents?” Ashlyn spat out.

“ you left it all behind… for… her?” Whit questioned.

The anger within Ashlyn rose, she pushes her way out of Whits embrace, shocked with her best friends statement. Alex wasn't just some girl, she was The girl, the one girl. The women Ashlyn was meant for. 

The reason air even bothered to enter Ashlyn's lunges, why her heart continued to pump blood through her veins. 

The keeper turned to other blonde, “Why would you say that? Alex isn't ‘a girl’ Whitney. She's the women I am in love with, she's the blood that courses through my body, shes the main reason I'm still in this earth-“

“That's one hell of a way to show it” She replies with thick sarcasm, as Ash Leans back. “ You didn't only leave her you know..” Whit says when Ashlyn stands up, turning around so she doesn't have to look at her so called best friend, doing her best to calm the darkness within. “If you would have just left the team…” Whit says now standing as well. “I would have understood.. but you .. betrayed us all by joining another national team.. Germany none the less. GERMANY, ASHLYN! Like what the fuck, how did that even happen?” She continued, walking around the other blonde to face her again. 

There's a far away look in Ashlyn's eyes that Whitney had recognized, it was one of the times Ash had brought up quitting the team cause ‘she'd never be Hope Solo’ the look of defeat. 

“I couldn't be on the sidelines anymore… I-I- I had to be on the pitch…” lowering her head, Ashlyn continues, “ I had to matter”

“You mattered to me! To the whole damn team Ashlyn!” Whit yells at her best friend, she hadn't meant to get into all this today, but she just couldn't hold back. All the pain of when Ashlyn had left came rushing to the front of her mind, like it just happened yesterday.

“Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!”

The keeper snaps her head up at the sound of Whitney’s fist pounding onto the table, with every shout. She rushes over to the blonde, now trying to restrain her, like she was years ago. “Hey, hey stop.”

Wrapping her arms around Whitney, locking her hands in place, as the defender tries to push her way out of Ashlyn's lock. “Whit stop!” 

All the emotions Whitney never really got to let out, explode from inside her like an atom bomb. She tried to be there for everyone else, she put up a front so people wouldn't ask questions, never getting to let herself feel the pain and sorrow after that first day of crying. She had to be strong, but now, she can't take it. 

She struggles against Ashlyn's embrace, trying with every muscle to get free from the one who caused her this pain. “Get off me!” She yells.

“Calm down Whit” Ashlyn replies, holding tight to her, she's thrown off guard by this sudden change of circumstances. Whitney had been levelheaded through this how ordeal, and now Ashlyn as to clam her. (What the fuck is happening)

She can feel the defender clenching her jaw and every muscle in her body, she's not even sure she can hold her much longer. 

She feels Whitney’s chest constrict, her breathing becoming labored as the blonde continues to struggle. “Whit I need you to breathe” Ash try's when her breathing become more frantic. The keeper is thrown off even more when she hears the choked sobs coming from her best friend. 

Whitney grabs at Ashlyn's arms around her clenching for dear life as she allows the flood to happen. Ashlyn slowly walks them to the nearest wall, sliding them both down, thanking god when the other blonde lets her do this. 

With the defender between her legs, she whispers, “shhhhh, it's ok Whit… you're ok … Whit, breathe ok” she fears that between the sobs and gasps for breathe that she might pass out. She loosens her grip and little, but brings Whit closer to her, “breathe Whit, please..” she notices that the blondes body starts to go limp, her breathing slowing down. 

“Stay with me Whit,” she pleads, “ I've got you… I got you” she repeats it like a prayer, “ I got you.”

The defender starts to calm as does her breathing, the keeper doesn't know how long they stay this way, but she's determined to stay as long as it takes, she gonna leave her alone, not again. She's not sure what happened but she's certain she was the cause.

(if she's this bad … I can't imagine what Ali went through.)

(Fuck)

"I'm sorry," Whitney whispers.

"shhh, nothing to be sorry for, just try to relax ok," Whit nods. 

Tears softly falling from Ashlyn's eyes, "I'm sorry for leaving you Alone," Ashlyn whispers.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote some of these scenes, plus scenes for another chapter (not posted yet) when i first started writing this fic. I was angery at him, didn't think I'd ever regret it ... cause he promised me he'd get better. 
> 
> One of the scenes I added recently is from personal experience, points to whoever guess what that is.
> 
> Gonna try to push a few more out when I have down time during my training till the 29th.


	12. They Won (Welcome Home)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What another chapter?? I know crazy right! Plus I finally added more lyrics. (Will this song ever end)
> 
> I referenced a video and picture for this chapter, it's not word for word and yeah there's that. 
> 
> And tbh this shit is breaking my heart, I imagine what these characters would feel in those moment and it hurts me. Points for feeling the pain 
> 
> Enjoy.

They won.  
They won the 2015 Women's World Cup.  
They won against Japan.

They won on the field that Ali's dreams had been shattered, all those years ago.

They. Fucking. Won.  
The stadium was covered in red, white, and blue.

It erupted in celebration.

They were World Cup Champions.

They were all on top of the world.

All except Ali.

She was going through the motions, celebrating with her team, her family. You'd never second guess,  
never doubt that she didn't feel on top of the world.

That's how numb she was about it all.

What was the point of all this, if she couldn't share it with the one who had mattered the most.

The one who she had dreamt of running too once the final whistle blew, declaring loudly that they had become Champions.

What was the point if she couldn't share it with her the way she wanted too.

Not in the way it actually unfolded.

With the team draped in US flags across their shoulders.

Abby running to her wife, sharing a kiss that would become viral. (That could have been me and her).

Not in the way that, when Ashlyn's name was announced for the silver gloves, she didn't bat an eye. The team managing to subconsciously form a circle around Ali.

They all clapped but their eyes didn't meet Ashlyn's, not that they could even if they tried.

Instead sharing that moment completely separate on that pitch, so far that they might as well have been in different continents again.

When she did glance at Ashlyn, as the blonde received her trophy, you could see the defeat in her body.

Standing there next to Hope, like she was at a funeral and not receiving the silver gloves at the Women's World Cup.

Not in the way that as soon as Ashlyn stepped off that stage, she left the pitch so fast, you'd think it was on fire.

As Ali watched the women she had fallen in love with, the keepers eyes down cast, she couldn't fight the hurt she felt, at the fact that this was the second time watching Ashlyn walk way from her. (I guess I should get used to that)  
\------  
Ashlyn stood there, next to Hope, as she got the silver gloves. Embarrassed for her behavior the last time they met. She was still convinced that the keeper was dating Ali, but she had no right to react the way she did. No right to be jealous.

She kept to herself, eyes never leaving the floor except to wave to the few fans who clapped. Even though she heard clapping from the team she didn't look that way.

As soon as she was able to, she left the pitch and stadium all together.

Not looking back, knowing she didn't even deserve to look at Ali anymore.  
So she walked away from Ali, for the third time, leaving a piece of her heart and soul on that pitch in Canada.

\----

For Ali it was all a blur.

The ceremony, the jersey reveal, LA, the talk show with Pinoe, the Parade in New York, everything, though she vaguely remembers holding hands with Taylor Swift.

Ali was so numb she barley registered that July 9th had come and gone, the one year anniversary. She's pretty sure Hope, HAO, Kelly, Syd and Pinoe are the reason she doesn't remember what happened that day.

> **So I'll go**   
>  **Sit on the floor**   
>  **Wearing your clothes**

It was all such a blur that next thing she knows, is she sitting on the floor, in her once shared living room, wearing one of Ashlyn's jerseys. (When the hell did I put this on?)

She hadn't really been home since January, finding any reason not to be there. Ashlyn's stuff still occupied the house. She didn't have the strength to get rid of any of it, plus she hadn't heard from the Keeper. So she wasn't just gonna throw it all away. (I really should though)

She looked around the living room, memories of the past years spent with Ashlyn invade her mind.

The random moments Ashlyn would ambush her with hugs:  
  
_“Ash I need your help” Ali said, walking into the living room. She was looking down at her phone, not paying attention, playing plants vs. zombies._

_“I can’t take out this yeti zombie!” the brunette complained, “Ash seriou- oof”_

_Just like that she was surrounded by the blonde keeper, trapped. Ash had wrapped her legs and arms around the defender, tackling her onto the couch. “Koala!” Ashlyn had yelled, effectively trapping Ali in the death grip of a koala._

_Ali was laughing uncontrollably, “Ash! Wh… What are… You doing?!” she tried to get out between laughs._

_Ash just smiled as she calmly replied, “I’m a koala Alex, and nothing can separate a koala when it’s attached to something duh.” Ali squirmed in attempt to get free, but it was useless. She was laughing way too much to have any strength and Ashlyn showed no sign of letting go. “Nope. Koala’s are to strong, you have to say I’m the cutest koala ever, in order for me to let go.”_

_Ali squealed and laughed even more, “Never!”_

_“Fine Princess, have it your way.” Ashlyn started tickling Ali, being relentless. Ali couldn’t help but squirm and squeal._

_She eventually gave in, “ok! Ok, you’re the cutest koala ever!” causing both of them to laugh as she playfully shoved Ashlyn off the couch._

_Or the months after they got together, the kisses, gentle touches, spontaneous slow dancing_

_Ashlyn was sitting at the breakfast bar on her laptop, she had been going over the TWLOHA website, because Jamie wanted her input on the layout. Ali was in living room watching tv, when the keeper approached her. With her hand held out to Ali, she silently requested the brunette to stand, which she of course did._

_The blonde guided Ali’s left hand to her right shoulder, as she placed her left on the defenders hip. She slid her right hand down Ali’s arm and side until it landed on her other hip. Ali had caught on and instinctively brought her right hand to the back of Ashlyn’s neck, resting her head on the keeper’s chest._

_They swayed together in perfect harmony across the living room floor, no music was needed, they had a rhythm in their hearts._

_When she has asked the keeper, “What was that about?”_

_Ashlyn had kiss her forehead, and simply replied, “I just wanted to hold you close.”_

_Ali had quickly come to realize that Ashlyn, during these spontaneous slow dances, just needed Ali close to her. Ashlyn need Ali in a way that was more intimate than cuddling or sex._

Her eyes scanned to the shelves and tables when she noticed that the pictures of her and Ashlyn were gone, along with the blondes skateboard and shoes that normally cluttered near the door.

She begins to panic. (That means she was here… Come and gone without me knowing. Again.)

She rushes to Ashlyn's old room, nearly colliding with the door trying to get it open, to find everything on the bed. (Kyle must have moved them in here) she looks around the room and her heart can't take it anymore.

Everything is still here.

Her presence is still here.

She takes out her phone, dials a number she hadn't in the past 6 months. Quickly exiting the room she slams the door shut behind her, sliding down against it, and presses call.

“Hello?”

“Hey … um it's Ali”

“Ali? Is everything ok? Are you ok?” The other person rushes out, genuine concern in their voice.

Ali holds back the tears, she feels bad that it's taken this long to talk to them, “no, I mean yeah. Everything's ok- I just-“she exhales, and takes the phone from the ear for a second to gather herself.

“I’m sorry I haven't-“

“Ali”

“I feel-“

“Ali”

“I should have called a long time ago, “

“Ali. Ali, it's ok.” There was a pause, “Grandma was upset that you didn't feel comfortable enough to talk to us, but we understand.”

“I'm so sorry Chris”

“Hey. None of that. We figured you thought that we knew about Ash leaving-“

“Wait. You're telling me you didn't?” Ali's interrupts.

“No. Whitney called us the next day. She must have known Ashlyn didn't tell us, said that she wanted to tell us before we tried to get ahold of her through you… she must have remembered the last time she went MIA” the older Harris replied.

Ali's emotions were all over the place. She was heartbroken about having Ashlyn's stuff here, upset with herself for not talking to Grandma Harris and Chris sooner. To being ferrous with the keeper for not even telling the two most important people in her life.

She had been so caught up in the thought of Ashlyn just leaving her, that she didn't think to realize, she wasn't the only one Ashlyn left blindsided by this.

“Oh my god...” Ali didn't know what else to say, what do you say after that? After finding out that you weren't the only one who hurt this bad by Ashlyn's disappearance.( I mean sure you knew that your teammates were hurting too, and of course it must be hard on Whitney, but Chris and Grandma Harris… They were her family. Her lifeline.)

This made the reason she called that much harder.

“So, are you sure you're ok Ali?” Chris inquired, “not that I don't want to hear from you, but is there a reason you called?”

There was a pause on Ali's end, contemplating if she should even ask.

“Ali you can ask me anything … You know that right?” Chris tried reassuring her.

Ali dropped her head and pinches the bridge of her nose, “have you heard from her, since the World Cup? Is she ok?”

Chris is a bit taken back, he didn't think Ali would ask that question. He figured it was about her stuff still at the apartment. “Um, well … Yeah she's ok,” he replies looking out the sliding glass door at the ocean behind the house.

There's something behind Chris's voice that Ali can't pinpoint. She knows he’s not tell her something, what that could possibly be, ranged from lying about hearing from Ashlyn, to the Florida native sitting right in front of Chris as they speak.

The second thought hit Ali like a freight train (Holy fuck she's probably right there… Fuck) after a beat or two her thoughts are interrupted by the older sibling.

“You still there?” Chris questions, his gaze focused on a surfer off in the distance.

"Yeah, sorry.” Ali replies, “may I ask when?”

Chris let out a breath, Ali held hers.

“Grams said she stopped by last week, she was going back to Germany, and the Spirit are giving her the rest of the season off to practice with the Germans. I was at work and she left before I got home… But I hear Grams gave her an earful,” he chuckled lightly.

Chris hears Ali let out a breath, “how are you really doing Als.”

Ali is stuck between lying and breaking down, telling Chris the truth.

Her mind chooses the later, “I'm not ok Chris,” her voice breaks half way through the sentence.

Chris clenches his jaw to hold back the tears, he has to stay strong for Ali. He hears her choked up sobs through the phone and it almost breaks him. (Damn it Ash)

“Whenever you're ready Ali… I'm here for you ok.” He reassures her, knowing Ali will talk when she's ready.

Chris is gripping his phone so tight is knuckles are white. He almost throws it across the room as his mind takes him back to the call from Whitney.

Chris had been surfing, his mind was going a mile a minute. Trying to figure out what could have had his little sister so off yesterday.

_Ashlyn had called to say goodnight to him and Grams, but he could tell something was off._

_“I just wanted to say goodnight bubba… And how much I appreciate what you and Grams have done for me all these years.” The Keeper had said._

_“Ash… you don't need to thank us, we'll always be here for you.” After a short pause he continued, “ is everything ok sis?”_

_“Yeah, yeah of course. Just thought I hadn't expressed that in a while…. Anyway long day tomorrow I should get to my room-“ Ashlyn replied._

_“Your room? You’re not in there right now?” Chris questioned, “ surprising you aren't spending every second with Ali” he joked._

_“ ha ha, I came up to the roof for a second, she went to talk to Syd or something..” The blonde tone was low, almost flat._

_Chris knew something was up, when ever Ali's name was said or brought up, he could feel his sister smile through the phone. This was not the case._

_“I gotta go, goodnight bubba. Give Grams a hug for me.” Next thing Chris knows the line is dead._

_Chris had sat there amongst the waves, feeling a set build, he saw it as a sign to go call Ashlyn and get to the bottom of this._

_When he got the call from Whit, her voice had broken and Chris just wanted to hug her._

Now, again, sitting at the kitchen table listening to Ali calm herself, he had to hold it together.

"Take all the time you need Al" he whispers.

"I just need to know if she's ok... that she's taking care of herself Chris. You're the only one I could ask, everyone else wouldn't understand.." she replied.

He's about the say something when she speaks again, " I'm sitting outside her room door... and I- I couldn't help but want her to come back to me- but I knew..." she exhales, " her things are still here- I can't stay here anymore."

Chris lets out a small sigh. (I was wondering when it would become too much.)

He and the elder Krieger had had a talk about what to do with Ashlyn's stuff since neither had heard from her. They knew once Ali actually spent time alone at the apartment, that the brunette wouldn't be able to handle it. So they agreed that Kyle would move the keepers stuff to her room and go from there, if Ali wanted them to move it they would.

"Ali, whatever you need me to do, I will do it. I know this can't be easy on you." Chris replies

Ali thought about this for a minute. What did she want to do with her stuff? Have chris take it back to Florida? Put it in storage? She had no clue at the moment.

"I don’t know Chris... I honestly don’t know." She sighs, "I'm stuck between getting it out of here, or me just moving altogether." She pauses for a second.

Chris isn't that surprised that Ali just wants to move, her and Ash have been in that apartment since they both came to DC.

"She's here... even if her stuff won't be, she'll still be here..."

"I know Al" Chris says sympathetically.

"I'm sorry I just dumbed all this on you" she apologizes.

"Don’t sweat it kid, I'm just happy to hear from you."

"Thank you for answering."

"Anytime Al's, you know that."

\----

July 18th, 2015

Today was the welcome back game for the Spirit, it's not that Ali was dreading it, she just hated the thought of doing this alone.

Ashlyn was supposed to be standing next to her as a champion. Not in Germany still training with their national team. The thought still made her sick, that Ashlyn joined Germany, Ali loved Germany... She knew that. So why would she take that away from her as well?

She shook the thoughts from her head, today was about the Spirit, the fans, the league, NOT Ashlyn Harris. (not that she's even gonna be here) Ali rolls her eyes at herself, the fact that the blonde is still never far from her mind.

She begins her drive to the Plex, taking a different route than she normally would (time to start changing things)

Once she arrives, she does her best to enjoy the time, this is her home, her field, this is her team. She smiles as she sees fans wearing her US jersey, all the anticipation of today floats away, as she allows herself to breathe in the fact that she is a world cup camp.

She sees Mathison and quickly goes to hug her, the Canadian returns it just as tight.

"Glad to have you back Cap." Mathison says, "but if you bring up the World Cup, I might hit you" she smirks good naturedly.

Ali smiles widely, "well I mean that is what today's about shorty" and laughs as Mathison feting hurt.

"you cut me deep, you cut me real deep just now" she goes in to hug Ali once more, "missed you girl, and congratulations', you deserved it. "

"Thank you D... it means a lot"

She gets out to the field, taking in the stadium, she's always felt at home on this pitch. (lets do this)

Ali is standing there talking to Lori right before they are about to go out to the field to be announced. She's joined by Rasso and Mathison just joking around talking about being back. She's thankful no one brings up Ashlyn, for the first time in a while Ashlyn Harris is nowhere in her mind.

She's hears a fan shout "Ali Krieger, we love you!" She turns around with her nose crinkling grin and waves, she sees the fan wave back and just chuckles, she can't help but think how perfect this is.

As she turns around getting ready to walk onto the field when moments later she hears the same voice, "we love you too Ashlyn!"

She stops in her tracks (this is not happening) blood running cold, the defender looks to her right and sure enough, here comes the blonde walking towards her. Smiling at the fan and waving, (God her smile...) the Keeper turns her head and Ali looks away. (They said she wasn’t going to be here...)

As the blonde gets closer, Lori tells the others it's time to walk out, thankful for the distraction she follows Lori.

They stop short, Lori explaining that she wants them in a line, to announce them according to the paper she has. Ali prays, but her prayer falls to deaf ears as she is placed last and just to the right of the keeper.

Ali stands as far as she can away from the keeper without drawing to much attention to it. She's starting to hate Lori for the fact that she's taking forever to make these announcements.

Naming out Rasso, followed by Mathison, when she comes to Ashlyn she pause for a second and looks at Ali, who smiles and looks away.

"Next up we have our fearless goalkeeper, who has protected the Spirit net since our teams inception. Ashlyn Harris!!" The keeper waves and smiles, as does the right back, both doing this for the fans, the team.

"Ashlyn made her World Cup debut as Germanys number 1 keeper, letting only 2 goals throughout the tournament! Earning her the Silver boot! We are pumped to have her strong presence, leadership and clutch ways back here with the Spirit. Ashlyn Harris everyone."

Ashlyn waves and turns to Ali as she hears her clap.

The entire time out there both women can't keep still, looking around, staying away from each other. "Last, but certainly not least, our World Cup Champion from the US Womens National Team, Spirit co-captain and home town favorite. Ali Krieger! Ali had a brilliant World Cup and are thrilled to have her back! Give it up Ali!!"

Lori approaches Ali asking her if she wants to speak (no not really) she knows she should say something to the crowd, so she does. She thanks the fans for the support during the World Cup and how they helped so much.

She sees the camera man and tries to distract herself with turning off the mic, it doesn’t work. She also tries to stay in her spot for the picture, putting Lori and Matison between her and Ashlyn, which doesn’t work either. Ashlyn moves to the other side of Lori and Lori moves to the outside.

Ali keeps her head down as she is forced to scoot closer to the blonde, this is the closest she's been to the blonde since the night in January. Ashlyn keeps her head forward, wraps her arm around the Canadian, and slowly raises her arm to Ali (fuck).

Ali raises her arms to the back of Ashlyn's, when they feel each other for the first time in months, they both hold their breath at the shock of electricity that goes throughout their bodies. Ali's head shoots up and she puts on a smile along with the keeper for the photo. She tries not to think about how her body craves the touch, hurting even more when she leans more towards Lori. Or how she can smell the unique scent that is Ashlyn Harris. How beautiful she looks today.

When the picture is done the brunette lowers her head. Ashlyn heads straight off the pitch as Ali goes around Lori away from the blonde, she looks up and watches as the keeper keeps walking. (guess I will get used to that)

Even though they stay for the game and are forced to sit next to each other they do not say a word.

She hears the keeper talking to Dunn about how her flight got cancelled to Germany and decided to stick around when Mark asked her to be a part of the welcome back game. Ali can't help but roll her eyes ( you stay for him, but not for me huh. I can't believe he kept that from me.)

By the end of the game, she's furious with the keeper, how she can play the part so easily(... guess I didn’t mean anything to her after all). Ali tries to go straight to her car but, Crystal stops her, trying to get her to attend an after party since they beat the Reign.

She says she has an early flight to Seattle that she can't miss. Ashlyn, having been a few people away, hears this and her heart sinks. Further confirming her suspicion's (she's going to see Hope) She looks towards Ali, their eye's meeting and holding for just a second. Which is more than enough time to see the pain housed within each other.

Ali turns to Crystal and hugs her goodbye, and darts out the door. Ashlyn pushes her way past Crystal, who grabs her by the arm, "Don't" she says to the keeper, "let her be." Ashlyn sees the sadness in her friends eye's, and she pulls away. She makes it out the door into the hallway, looking both ways to find nothing but emptiness.

She sprints down the hall, towards the parking lot exit, she rounds the corner seeing the brunette's hands about to push open the door.

"Alex..." She gets out, but her voice gives out, barely a whisper.

Ali stops, her heart pounding, (she came after me...) she turns and looks over her shoulder, seeing the love of her life standing there. She doesn’t move, waiting, silently praying for Ashlyn to approach her. (Come on Ash... show me something, before I let this go for good) Holding back the tears, not sure if they'll be of joy or soul shattering.

Ashlyn takes a step towards Ali, but stops when she remembers what Hope had said back in Canada,  
( _"YOU LEFT HER! You weren't there Ashlyn … Crying herself to sleep every night... I was trying to keep her alive") she loses her breathe, (I don’t deserv_ e her... Hope kept her alive.. I almost killed her) she can't move or speak.

Ali's heart drops as does her head, pushing the door open, she walks out. Not bothering to look back. She knows the keeper isn't going to follow. The finality of the door slamming shut behind her causes the tears to flow.

Watching her walk away this time hurts ( fuck, now I know how that feels.) she lowers her head, flinching at the slam of the door, she imagines that this much be how people feel when the cell door shuts in front of you. Empty, nothing left to fight for, sealing her fate with the royal fuck ups she's made.

Crystal finds the keeper with her back against the wall, arms grasped to her legs, forehead on her knees, silently crying. She helps the keeper up and heads to the parking lot knowing Ali is long gone. Knowing the team will be coming out soon, she gets the blonde to her car, getting her buckled she starts the car.

"where are we going" Ashlyn inquires.

Dunn lets out a rough sigh, " we can go to my place... or yours... " she turns to Ash, studying her.

"You mean Ali's … don't think she will appreciate that Crys," the blonde says.

"No … I mean your place..." Ashlyn looks at Dunn with confusion, "she moved out, it's yours now" she hands Ashlyn a key with a simple ring with the address on it, from out of her center counsel. "She had the locks changed and told me to give this to you, if you ever came back." She finishes.

Ashlyn takes the key in her hand, she looks at the hand writing, noticing right away that it is Ali's. She squeezes it in her hand, "take me home" she says softly.

When they arrive at the apartment Crystal starts to get out of the car when Ashlyn stops her, " it's ok, you don’t have to come in"

"I'm not going to leave you alone right now Ash" her teammate replies sternly. Ashlyn knows there is no changing this women's mind. So she just nods, gets out and approaches the door. When she inserts the key and turns it, the door unlocking, she clenches her jaw.

She looks around the once shared apartment, and everything looks the same, she feels like she's in a dream. Waking up to come home from January's training. Then she notices the pics are down, there's a medium sized box on the kitchen table. She walks over to open in, finding all the couple pictures in it, and the pictures she took of the brunette.

Crystal walks next to her, "you sure you want to be here?" Seeing the pictures in the box, she picks up one that has always been her favorite of the couple. Even though they aren't even looking at each other. Ashlyn is facing sideways with her right hand on her hat and she is making the shhh face with, Ali is facing forward, back against the wall, head thrown back in laughter.

Ashlyn just walks over to the couch and lays down, she doesn't want to see the rest of the apartment. She knows her room will be the same, but the room they shared... with be vacant of everything that is Ali.

You can sleep in my room, I'm gonna be out here," she says to her friend. She looks at a spot on the ceiling memories of a conversation she had with Ali comes up.

_She was lying down on the couch when Ali came and snuggled on top of her. They had been together for 3 months, but it had felt like a lifetime. With Ali's head on her chest she began to run her hands through the brunettes hair._  
  
"babe?" Ali whispers, Ashlyn smiles at the sound and replies, "yes princess?"

_"What if we don’t win the World Cup?" She replies scared. Ashlyn can tell she's nerves about being in Canada again. The field that took away her Olympic dream can now take away her World Cup dream._

_"Alex"_

_"yeah"_

_" I will be on that field as soon as I see the ref put that whistle in their mouth, to signal the end. Running into your arms, lift you off that field to spin you around and congratulate you with a kiss, on Winning the 2015 Women's World Cup. You will be a Champion." She kisses the top of Ali's head, " that field will not take anything away from you again. I swear Alex, you will make it to that stadium to have that gold medal around your neck"_

_Ali smiles into her chest. (God I love this women.... I love her) she pushes up and meets Ashlyn's eyes._

_"That's how confident I am in you, and the team. We will make it all the way." Ashlyn now smiles, "that or you're gonna have to bail me out of a million dollar bet I put on team winning" she laughs._

_Ali slaps at her chest, "Ashlyn Harris! I swear you better be joking or you're sleeping in your room tonight!" She says sternly._

_"ok ok, I'm joking …. it was 2 mill." She smirks, Ali scolds, "kidding! But that's how confident I am.. I would place 2 mill on us winning."_

_Ali smiles at the blonde, "thank you"_

_"of course princess"_

_"let's go Stud" Ali smiles sweetly. Getting off the keeper and headed to the bed room._

_"I'd follow you anywhere" Ashlyn replies, getting up as well._

She snaps out of it, tears in her eyes as she recalls the convo, looking back at that day on the field (I broke my promise to you Alex... I'm so sorry)

She falls asleep, wishing thing were different, wishing the brunette was there with her, in her arms.

But she's not.. And it's her own fault. (Welcome home Ashlyn) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say you guys are awesome, I borrowed my SGT's laptop to type this out on word today because how awesome you all are.
> 
> I had a bunch of down time, so I knocked it out. 
> 
> Anybody notice the day ... July 18th that's also what made me want to get this chapter out. 
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> Ps. Sorry about the ending notes of the last chapter... that ch was raw for me.

**Author's Note:**

> So what did you think? I do plan incorporating the rest of the song in later chapters. I might also add between chapters with other teammates opinions and relationships.


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